Saturday, March 31, 2012

Song(s) of the Day

It's pretty hilarious when I do a Favorite Songs post and then a Song of the Day post directly after and it features the same songs.  I did that Favorite Songs thing for a fun little project to keep busy, but what I've loved most about it is after doing the research to create it, I reminded myself of so many songs that I used to love and had sort of forgotten about, to an extent.  It's like they're new to me again.
I don't love all of Rise Against's songs, I love them as a band, but this is one of their songs that I REALLY dug when I first bought their (at the time) new CD (The Sufferer & the Witness).  Then they made a music video for it and I was even more psyched.



Max Bemis has a serious way with words.  I LOVE the lyrics to No Soul.



A great, acoustically driven, song by All Time Low that immaculately tells a story of a love-stricken guy desperate to find his girl, ultimately to realize that she has died.

One of my favorite music videos of all time.  I love Post-Secret.

Favorite Songs of All-Time (79-70)

238-224
223-210
209-196
195-182
181-167
166-152
151-136
135-121
120-110
109-101
100-90
89-80

Friday, March 30, 2012

Song of the Day

I can't say enough about this song.  I think the lyrics are brilliant, seriously, this song has some of my favorite lines & lyrics of ANY song.  The music video is fantastic as well.  This truly is an amazing song, immensely underrated.

Favorite Songs of All-Time (89-80)

238-224
223-210
209-196
195-182
181-167
166-152
151-136
135-121
120-110
109-101
100-90

Song(s) of the Day

Favorite Songs of All-Time (100-90)

238-224
223-210
209-196
195-182
181-167
166-152
151-136
135-121
120-110
109-101
Top 100!

Wednesday, March 28, 2012

Song(s) of the Day

Favorite Songs of All-Time (109-101)

238-224
223-210
209-196
195-182
181-167
166-152
151-136
135-121
120-110

Song of the Day

We'll sing just a little bit slower so she'll hang on to every single word.  Over these past few years I feel like I've been cheating myself.  I'm working hard all the time, you take the easy way out.  Over these past few years I've tasted who you're going to be.  Candy-coated on top, but so bitter underneath.

I know she'll never change.

No one said it didn't hurt and everybody knows good things take a little work so don't go giving up on the one, the one you love.

Over these past few years we've driven right into a dead-end and we'll keep spinning our tires until one of us gives in.  And we're approaching the question that I feel like we should ask.  Should we just catch different rides or just keep fixing the flats?

So close your eyes girl and tell me what you see.  The lives that we've created were all because of me.  So listen closely girl, 'cause our future is at stake, the reason we are ending is because I give, you take.  Close your eyes and tell me what you see.  A problem that's unchanging, a past that's haunting me.

Friday, March 23, 2012

Favorite Songs of All-Time (166-152)

238-224
223-210
209-196
195-182
181-167

Song of the Day

Did you ever get the feeling that you were all alone and no one ever knew you and you never had a home?  And the lights and the colors do their best to distract you.  Fuck you.  I don't even know why I like you.  It's all a blur.

I've been trying so hard just to keep away and now look where I am standing at today.  Trying so hard to walk away, but it's impossible to watch you fade away.

Did you ever stop believing after all was said and done?  When you turned to your friends but they were long gone.  And the sky and the snapshots remind you.  I trust you and I'm always going to miss you.

Every time I see you look at me, I see those distant eyes and your looks are fading.  Every time you're next to me, I want to talk and feel like we used to.  'Cause everybody knows and everybody cares until they're walking in my shoes.  And now I know it's you that I cannot lose.

It's all a blur and I owe you.  You can take it all.  When I call, pick up the phone like you used to.  It's all a blur, like a picture, it's all a blur.  You're just a blur!

Trying, dying so hard.  I've been denying that I'm not scarred.  I've been crying, lying so far, but it's impossible to fill this space.  Impossible to take your place.  Impossible to watch you fade away.

Song of the Day

Thursday, March 22, 2012

Song of the Day


Went to the Blackhawks/Canucks game earlier and it was nothing short of insane.  I had never been as close to the ice as I was tonight.  It was a fucking phenomenal game, the Blackhawks/Canucks rivalry is one of the best in the NHL.  The game was close & beyond intense, with the Blackhawks ultimately winning 2-1 in overtime.  The crowd was electric and being at a hockey game is exciting in general, but when you're a mere several rows behind the boards, the energy is palpable.  The electric Natonal Anthem, which is always a treat at a Blackhawks game due to their tradition of cheering during the entire song (the crowd was so loud I could barely hear the incomparable Jim Cornelison) got me ready for the game right away.  There was a quick punch in the gut for us when the Canucks scored a goal on their first shot, 27 seconds into the game.  The first period was bitter sweet as it ended with the Canucks leading, but the Blackhawks had plenty of chances.  2nd period began and the Blackhawks continued to dominate, despite not leading by peppering the Canucks goalie Luongo with shots.  Eventually they broke through when Marian Hossa got the puck close to the net and managed to skip it to Patrick Kane for the game-tying goal.  The jeers of "LUUUUONGOOOO" echoed through the stands as the United Center faithful LOVE to get on that guy.  I was thoroughly entertained.  Luongo managed to make a couple nice saves as the Blackhawks had shot after shot and the 2nd period ended with a 1-1 tie.  During the 2nd intermission, had a nice little surprise during the shooting contest they have for the fans (they shoot the puck from the face-off circle in the middle of the ice for prizes) and my favorite WWE superstar, WWE champion & Chicago native CM Punk was announced as one of the contestants.  3rd period began and Canucks came out HUNGRY.  They quickly closed the shots on goal gap that was heavily on the Blackhawks side, but Corey Crawford turn away each and every attempt.  He played lights out.  Patrick Kane built upon his great game with a couple hits and proved he wasn't just Derrick Rose on ice skates.  The physicality of the game was fantastic.  Duncan Keith was on a mission to punish some of the Canucks, with more than one encounters with Burrows & Daniel Sedin as well.  Andrew Shaw was all over the ice for the Hawks, taking hits and dishing out a few himself, which is impressive considering he's only 5'10 and 165 lbs.  Kevin Bieska & Patrick Sharp could be seen bickering all throughout the game and even Viktor Stalberg got into it a few times with Bieska.  After each and every stoppage of play, there was a skirmish, including one with gear flying everywhere and two 10 minute penalties on Duncan Keith & Alexandre Burrows (who is a big pussy punk, by the way) 3rd period ended and the score was still tied 1-1 so you know what that means.  OVERTIME.  Seriously, this game was amazing.  An intense overtime was pretty one-sided with the puck being flicked at Luongo majority of the time.  Finally, the newest Blackhawk, Johnny Oduya (who has been a fantastic acquisition for a team that was desperate for some defensive help) who was acquired on the trade deadline a few weeks back slapped a shot towards the net that hit off rookie Andrew Shaw and past LOLongo and a Blackhawks victory was born.  Chelsea Dagger began ringing through the arena as all 21,000+ of us jumped out of our seats slapping high fives and dancing/singing along.  It truly is a special moment, I adore live sports so much, especially one as unbelievable as this one.  I really can't say enough about how satisfying & memorable this game was.  I've been to a ton of live games over the past 21 years and this game is right up there as one of the greatest of all-time for me.

Tuesday, March 20, 2012

Song of the Day

When you're alone, life can be a little low.  It makes you feel like you're 3 foot tall.  When it's just you, well times can be tough, when there's no one there to catch your fall.

Life's a happy song when there's someone by my side to sing along.

Song of the Day

Sunday, March 18, 2012

Song of the Day

I don't know what it is about this song, but it really gets to me.  The sound, the atmosphere, & mood this track presents to my ears really strike a core with me.  The desperation of the lyrics, the fact that it's so calm, yet sporadic at the same time...I dunno.  Seems like the perfect song for my mindset in my every day life lately.

Running Up That Hill - Placebo

Song of the Day

Thursday, March 15, 2012

Incoming Block of Words (Paragraphs Are For Hipsters)

 

     I try, I try REALLY hard to keep this kind of crap off of a public blog.  I know the perverted curiosity of those in my life don't really care what goes on in my life, but a lot of people can't quite help but peer into the window just to see the kind of drama I'm going through.  Do they care?  No.  But they don't mind being entertained by the guy having some troubles and then judging him/ridiculing him afterwards behind his back.  Maybe I'm being paranoid, perhaps I've deluded myself into thinking that people really have any interest whatsoever.  I don't very much care either way.  Fact is, the judgement you conjure up for me couldn't even remotely match the judgement I pass upon myself, so do your worst.  You're never going to see me publicly tell everyone how all hope is lost and how I'm just going to kill myself, because that isn't me.  Suicide is insanely selfish to me.  I know we're supposed to have sympathy for the deceased, but I'm sorry, suicide is a selfish way out that only leaves the people who love you hurt.  The FEW people who care about you are left with a black hole in their heart forever because you were too much of a pansy to suck it up and deal with your shit. (Besides, I would just do it with no announcement.)  I usually reserve this type of incoherent rambling for a Word document called "Yeah Don't Read This" on my laptop, but fact is, all that does is provide an outlet for venting.  It does nothing to satisfy anything inside of me, maybe this will help.  Probably not.  I feel like someone has died in my life and I'm going through the grieving process lately.  I've been depressed, wished I could make bargains, and been royally pissed off.  Now?  Most people reach acceptance.  I guess that's what you can call this, but it's hardly any sort of closing chapter.  I frankly don't care anymore.  I have accepted the fact that I suck, I really suck at maintaining awesome relationships.  I've had countless friends just sorta abandon me, for seemingly no reason.  Obviously it's probably my fault for the way I am, but still, it's definitely become a pattern.  Venting and opening up to people doesn't do jack shit.  So what?  Some person I hardly ever talk to hears all the shit that makes me crazy every day, gives me some recycled cliche that they think will make me bounce back and it's all good?  Wrong.  Fact is, the only people who actually CAN make things better are far too busy with their life to spend any sort of time dealing with your garbage.  And if they do have that window opportunity?  They aren't remotely going to say what you wish to fucking God they would say.  It doesn't work that way.  Life isn't a fucking television show.  Being that awesome and caring guy who does everything for someone doesn't mean a thing, because odds are, you really aren't that awesome anyway.  You just think you are.  I lived my life thinking I was a decent guy, a guy who may not be phenomenal, but God dammit, I tried.  What has it got me?  Nothing.  So maybe I'm a shitty guy, I wouldn't be surprised.  Frankly, I don't care anymore.  Being a nice guy gets you nowhere in life, seriously, if ever faced with the proverbial devil & angel on your shoulder situation, choose the devil.  Being the good person has a glass ceiling.  You're only going to be loved & accepted for so long until someone just gets tired of you.  If you be the devil, the uncaring son of a bitch, then you always leave the person wanting more.  The other person is your fucking slave to put it bluntly.  I have vehemently tried to do the right & nice thing for 21 years now and where has it left me?  Venting on a piece of shit blog that nobody reads with the feeling that nobody cares anymore.  This is a world where some people just get dealt a shit hand and that's how you have to live your life.  Some people are meant to be alone and becoming a loner is pretty much the only thing that can save you.  Nice guys finish LAST.  Things do not change.  They may be awesome for a bit, but don't worry, they'll take a bad turn in no time.  I'm not a pessimist, I'm a realist.  If you're sitting here saying "Nope, not true.  My life is awesome." Well good for you.  You may have done a better job with your life than I have.  I'm just saying, some people will get shit on forever.  I have been betrayed by countless friends and lied to.  My advice?  Don't fall in love, don't expect anything out of anyone, do not rely on someone.  Everyone is selfish and the quicker you realize you're alone in life, the easier it becomes.  I have this insane feeling, every single night, where I lay in bed and I have become so damn frustrated with EVERYTHING that I just want to take a baseball bat and beat the living shit out of every object in my room.  Do you realize how infuriating it is to live your life constantly having every God damn thing pile up and you bottle it up with ZERO outlet?  It sucks and it's enough to drive anyone crazy.  Have I gone crazy?  No.  For some reason I'm retardedly strong when it comes to crap like this and I just deal with everything myself.  So if I disappear for a while, don't think I'm wallowing in my own self-pity.  It just means I'm sick of being punched in the fucking face a million times a day and so I have adhered to the notion that if something is out of sight, then it's out of mind (which isn't remotely true, but it's all I got) So keep living your life.  Keep being happy and fantastic because I have officially given up.  Call it the straw that broke the camel's back or whatever, but I'm done.  Being the way I have been in my life has led to just pure and utter shit.  So no, I won't be that bubbly happy dude making jokes and is here for anyone.  Fact is, I don't give a shit anymore.  My family.  My schoolwork.  My job.  My hobbies & interests in sports.  THAT is all that matters to me anymore, at least on the outside.  Inside I'll be the exact same person I've always been, so basically I'm saying, I will begin lying to myself.  I am going to repress every God damn thing from now on and you better believe I've built a pretty immense wall before myself.  I am officially a watered down version of myself and it sucks.  I hate it.  But it's necessary.  Everyone else around me gets to be selfish.  So fuck off, it's my time to be selfish.  Not like anyone cares anyway, if anyone took the time to open this link, I'm sure they stopped reading many many lines ago and began with the ridicule.  Actions speak louder than words.

Favorite Songs of All-Time (195-182)

238-224
223-210
209-196

Song of the Day

Monday, March 12, 2012

Song of the Day

Favorite Songs of All-Time (238-224)

     Okay, so it looks like I have some explaining to do here.  I suppose I could start with the insanely random number of 238 as my total amount of songs ranked.  Well, many moons ago, I made a playlist on my iPod dubbed "Ol' Reliable" which was basically a playlist of all my "favorite" songs.  The songs that when I hear them, no matter what, I never skip past them.  I didn't make the list with a set number in mind and over the months, I have added even more songs.  So as of right now, the playlist has 238 songs on it and thus, I will be ranking all of them over the next couple weeks from 238 until number 1.  This is pretty similar to my favorite movies of all-time post I did a while ago.  You're going to see quite a bit of reptetion when it comes to bands, but hey, I know what I like.  I just figured, since I listen to my iPod so much, it could be a fun little project for me to bestow upon myself.

     With my impeccable math skills, I figured out that 238 divided by 14 is 17, which means I'll be doing 17 posts over the next 2+ weeks featuring 14 songs in each one until we're all done.

    I have never been one who is ashamed of the music he listens to, nor do I ridicule others for liking their favorite songs.  If you enjoy it, if it speaks to you, sparks some sort of emotion in you, then it's doing its job if you ask me.

     I like to post lyrics with my songs, not always because I relate to them personally (although more often than not, that is the reason) but honestly because I may just think it's a powerful/good/clever line.  Not everything I post is directly how I feel.

   I'm rambling now.  Let's get to it.

Song of the Day

Cliche much?

Song of the Day

Sunday, March 11, 2012

Song(s) of the Day

No It Isn't - (+44)

And my mouth is filled with blood, from trying not to speak.  So search for an excuse and someone to believe you.

Let's slit out wrists and burn down something beautiful.


You Be Tails, I'll Be Sonic - A Day to Remember

You killed what was left of the good in me.  I'm tired so let me be broken.  Look down at the mess that's in front of me, no other words need to be spoken.  And I've got nobody else to blame, though I tried.  Kept all of our past mistakes held inside.  I'll live with regret for my whole life.

Saturday, March 10, 2012

Song(s) of the Day

Jealousy - Good Charlotte
For every lie I ever told, for every line I ever sold.  For everyone I ever hurt before.  I could always find a good excuse, I could always find something to use.  I could always find a way out of the truth.  Well it used to feel okay inside, to get in their face and tell these lies.  But not today, I'm breaking free.

Jealousy, look what you've done.  You've got a hold of me, you've made me become.  Thought I'd never be, what I'm running from.  This jealousy look what it's done.

I swear that I've been waiting, I've been waiting to say...

You rip apart my insides, you know that I can't sleep.  You tear apart my whole life, you take the best of me.

You Won't Hear This - Envy on the Coast
It's a quarter past four, I packed my bags with less things than we hold in conversation, if that's even possible.  I wish it weren't true, the fact that I could write this song and you can't speak a word.

And maybe, I'm crazy.

Don't want to have to write to you.  But you made me, you made me.  Because you never changed.

I think I'll move somewhere inviting, where my heart's not being lied to, 'cause I'll keep on trying.  But you can't change anymore, so put that smile behind your lack of effort, it's the only thing that shows anyway.

You'll never change.

Friday, March 9, 2012

Song(s) of the Day

     Got to witness a Blackhawks victory today in person against the Rangers.  You better believe the songs of the day were an easy choice today.

Thursday, March 8, 2012

Song of the Day

     Song followed me around all day.  Couldn't deny it.

Song(s) of the Day

Fix You - Coldplay
When you try your best, but you don't succeed.  When you get what you want, but not what you need.  When you feel so tired, but you can't sleep.  Stuck in reverse.

And the tears come streaming down your face.  When you lose something you can't replace.  When you love someone, but it goes to waste.  Could it be worse?

Lights will guide you home and ignite your bones.  And I will try to fix you.

And high up above or down below.  When you're too in love to let it go, but if you never try you'll never know just what you're worth.

I promise you I will learn from my mistakes.

No, It Isn't - (+44)
This is where the road, crashed into the ocean.  It rises all around me and now we're barely breathing.  A thousand faces we'll choose to ignore.

Curse my enemies forever, let's slit our wrists and burn down something beautiful.

I listen to you cry, a cry for less attention.  But both my hands are tied and I'm pushed into the deep end.  I listen to you talk but talk is cheap.  And my mouth is filled with blood, from trying not to speak.  So search for an excuse, and someone to believe you.

Lay rotting where I fall.  I'm dead from bad intentions.  Suffocated and embalmed and now all our dreams are cashed in.  You swore you wouldn't lose then lost your brain.  You make a sound that feels like pain.

Make You Smile - (+44)
The last time I saw you, you turned away.

I said 'hello' but you kept on walking.

Do you remember where we used to sleep at night?

I couldn't feel you, you're always so far away.

I don't, don't wanna take you home.  Please don't, don't make me sleep alone.  If I could, I'd only want to make you smile.  If you would stay with me a while.

The next time I see you, you'll turn away.  I'll say 'hello' and you'll keep on walking.

All That I've Got - The Used
Off-guard, red-handed, now I'm far from lonely.  Asleep, I still see you lying next to me.

I need something else.  Would someone please just give me.  Hit me, knock me out and let me go back to sleep.  I can laugh all I want, inside I still am empty.

I'll be just fine, pretending I'm not.  I'm far from lonely and it's all that I've got.

I guess, I remember every glance you shot me.

So deep that it didn't even bleed and catch me.  So deep that I didn't even scream, fuck me.

Fireflies - Owl City
I'd like to make myself believe, that planet Earth turns slowly.  It's hard to say that I'd rather stay awake when I'm asleep.  'Cause everything is never as it seems.

Leave my door open just a crack.  Please take me away from here.  'Cause I feel like such an insomniac.

Why do I tire of counting sheep?

I'm far too tired to fall asleep.

I'm weird 'cause I hate goodbyes.  I got misty eyes as they said farewell.

My dreams are bursting at the seams.

I'm Ready - Jack's Mannequin
And today was a day just like any other.

I'm on the verge, unraveling with every word.  With every word you say, make me believe.

As I'm finding the words, you're getting away.

I come undone, oh yes I do.  Just think of all the thoughts wasted on you.  And every word you say, say something sweet.  'Cause all I taste is blood between my teeth.

Well I'm ready, I'm ready to drop.  Oh, I'm ready, I'm ready so don't stop.  I'm ready so don't stop, keep pushing.  I'm ready to fall, oh, I'm ready.  I'm ready so don't call, I'm ready so don't call.

I am aware, I've been misled.  I disconnect my heart, my head.  Don't wanna recognize when things go bad.  The things that you'll accept, except that I am finding the words...

My life has become a boring pop song and everyone's singing along.

Wednesday, March 7, 2012

Song(s) of the Day

Summer Paradise - Simple Plan
My heart is sinking as I'm lifting up above the clouds away from you.  And I can't believe I'm leaving, oh I don't know what I'm gonna do.  But someday, I will find my way back to where your name is written in the sand.

'Cause I remember every sunset, I remember every word you said.  We were never gonna say goodbye.  Tell me how to get back to, back to summer paradise with you and I'll be there in a heartbeat.

My soul is broken, streets are frozen.  I can't stop these feelings melting through.

I'd give away a thousands days just to have another one with you.

I remember sunny morning and summer evenings.  Now you're not next to me and I am freezing.  Was it real?

Now my heartbeat is sinking, hope's shrinking.  When I try to speak no words, lip-syncing.  Hope this is not just wisful thinking, tell me that you care and I'll be there in a heartbeat.

I remember when we first kissed.  How I didn't wanna leave your lips and how I've never ever felt so high.
Last Chance to Lose Your Keys - Brand New
You told me you can't wait to see me and you didn't bother to even show up.  This whole situation is incredibly typical, I should have seen it all along.  

It's girls like you that make me think I'm better off home on a Saturday night with all my doors locked up tight.

You call me on the phone and you don't even want to talk.  You're staring at me from across the room then turn your back when I walk up.  We got inches away and I never even got close.

Don't bother to look in my direction.

Forget everything you think you know about me.  This isn't high school.
Break Apart Her Heart - Good Charlotte
When you call, she doesn't answer.  When you write, she doesn't answer.  You go out, you see him with her, she told you she was sick at home.  The ring you gave her thrown away with all the letters and when you see him with her, he doesn't even care at all.

As she follows him around like you follow her around and he doesn't even care and you're figuring out.  The only way you're gonna keep somebody around, well I'm about to let you know...

There's something I don't wanna understand, the only way a woman is gonna want a man, the only way you'll ever keep her in your hands is breaking apart her heart.  Don't tell her she is the reason that you live, don't give her everything that you got to give.  If you want to keep the girl for as long as you live, just break it apart, her heart.

Can't you see the way she's crying.  Well that's what keeps her trying, she knew that she could have you and he don't give her what she wants.  There's truth about this, you say you want to be noticed.  Well if you want to be noticed you gotta learn to break some hearts.  Don't try to understand.

Can't you see what you've done?  What I've become?

I don't understand this cruelty.  I don't understand but now I see.
I Swear This Time I Mean It - Mayday Parade
Look how she's so serene.

I want to keep her dreaming, it's my one wish, I won't forget this.

I'm outdated, overrated.  Morning seems so far away.

So I'll sing a melody and hope to God she's listening, sleeping softly while I sing.  And I'll be your memories, your lullaby for all the times.  Hoping that my voice could get it right.

If luck is on my side tonight, my clumsy tongue will make it right.  And wrists that touch, it isn't much, but it's enough.

Forget your scares, we'll forget mind.  The hours change so fast, oh God, please make this last.

You could crush me.  Please don't crush me.  'Cause baby I'm a dreamer, for sure.  And I won't let you down.  I swear this time I mean it.
Vanilla Twilight - Owl City
I lie awake and miss you.

I'll doze off safe and soundly, but I'll miss your arms around me.  I'd send a postcard to you, dear.  'Cause I wish you were here.

I'll watch the night turn light blue, but it's not the same without you.  Because it takes two to whisper quietly.

The silence isn't so bad, 'til I look at my hands and feel sad.  'Cause the spaces between my fingers are right where yours fit perfectly.

I haven't slept in two days, 'cause cold nostalgia chills me to the bone.  But drenched in vanilla twilight, I'll sit on the front porch all night.  Waist-deep in thought because when I think of you, I don't feel so alone.

As many times as I blink. I'll think of you tonight.

I'll forget the world I know, but I swear I won't forget you.  Oh, if my voice could reach back through the past.  I'd whisper in your eay, oh darling, I wish you were here.

Tuesday, March 6, 2012

Song(s) of the Day

This Is Home - Switchfoot
I've got my memories.  They're always inside of me, but I can't go back, back to how it was.  I believe it now, I've come too far, but I can't go back, back to how it was.  Created for a place I've never known.

This is home.  Now I'm finally where I belong.

I've been searching for a place of my own.  Now I've found it.  Maybe this is home.

Belief over misery.  I've seen the enemy and I won't go back, back to how it was.  And I've got my heart set on what happens next.

And now after all my searching, after all my questions, I'm gonna call it home.

Rainbow Connection - The Muppets
Why are there so many songs about rainbows and what's on the other side?  Rainbows are visions, but only illusions.  So we've been told and some choose to believe it.  I know they're wrong, wait and see.  Someday we'll find it, the rainbow connection.  The lovers, the dreamers and me.

Who said that every wish would be heard and answered when wished on the morning star?  Somebody thought of that and someone believed it.  Look what it's done so far.  What's so amazing that keeps us star gazing and what do we think we might see?

All of us under its spell.  We know that it's probably magic.

Have you been half asleep and have you heard voices?  I've heard them calling my name.  Is this the sweet sound that called the young sailors?  The voice might be one and the same.  I've heard it too many times to ignore it.  It's something that I'm supposed to be.