Tuesday, August 6, 2013

2013 Awesomeness Abounds Projections

I thought the day would never come, but it did.  The Awesomeness Abounds fantasy football league is in year three, and it is looking like it could be the most competitive year yet.  Once "new" owners are now returning for their second years, and "rookies" have become seasoned veterans.  No top spot is locked for any team, and I do not envision a single team having a long-lasting winning streak or extending undefeated streaks to the start the season past a few weeks.  Exciting to be a part of, a bitch to predict, but here goes...

Fat Jesus' Disciples
QB - Tony Romo
WR - Dez Bryant
WR - Steve Smith
WR - Michael Floyd
RB - Steven Jackson
RB - Chris Johnson
TE - Tony Gonzalez
W/R/T - Ronnie Hillman
W/R/T - Kendall Wright
BN - QB - Eli Manning
BN - TE - Ed Dickson
BN - WR - Austin Collie
BN - RB - Joseph Randle
BN - WR - Early Doucet
BN - WR - Dwayne Harris
BN - WR - Riley Cooper
K - Dan Bailey
DEF - Chicago

Why this team will win:
They're the defending champions, owner Fat Jesus is towards the top of the league in terms of football knowledge and there is some star power.  

In what many considered to be a shocking move, Adrian Peterson was NOT kept by The Disciples, and Dez Bryant was brought back.  Fat Jesus, an avid Dallas Cowboys fan, believes heavily in Bryant - enough to give up a guy who had one of the greatest fantasy football seasons of all-time in 2012.  Honestly, though, I don't disapprove.  Dez Bryant is insanely athletic, and could potentially be on the level of Calvin Johnson, but with more touchdowns.  

He recuperated his loss at RB with a very solid tandem of Steven Jackson and Chris Johnson.  Johnson is just a few years removed from a 2,000 yard rushing season, while Jackson remains a solid option in fantasy.  Neither guys are top fantasy options at RB but are also not players I would consider RB2 either - more like 1.5.

Tony Romo helped lead The Disciples to the championship last year and his deep connections with Dez Bryant leaves Fat Jesus drooling on game-day.  Tony Gonzalez is as consistent as they come at TE, while Steve Smith remains as basically the only WR worth a shit in Carolina.  Chicago's defense has won back-to-back Awesomeness Abounds championships.  Not to mention, with sleepers like Austin Collie, Ed Dickson, Dwayne Harris and maybe even Joseph Randle - this team has depth.  Something lacking with most teams in a league as deep as this one.

Why this team will suck:
Michael Floyd - not bad as a second flex guy, right?  Oh, he's the WR3?  I would hate to see who the flex guys are.  Ronnie Hillman is considered a "starter" for Denver as of right now, but I don't put much credence to that notion.  Rookie Montee Ball was drafted, and rookie RB don't just sit on the bench all season.  Not to mention neither guy gets the ball on 3rd down, so it's even less opportunities for Hillman.

Kendall Wright was a part of the championship team last season, wire-to-wire, Wright was a Disciple.  His value is much higher in PPR, which this league is not.  He would be a better fantasy WR if Jake Locker was a better quarterback.

This is a team with bench guys who are not that much worse than the flex guys.  Unfortunately, I feel that is more of a knock against the flex guys than it is a plus for the bench guys.

envy is god
QB - Andrew Luck
WR - Danny Amendola
WR - Greg Jennings
WR - T.Y. Hilton
RB - Trent Richardson
RB - Le'Veon Bell
TE - Jason Witten
W/R/T - Rashard Mendenhall
W/R/T - Mark Ingram
BN - WR - Danario Alexander
BN - RB - Jonathan Stewart
BN - WR - Denarius Moore
BN - WR - Alshon Jeffery
BN - QB - Alex Smith
BN - RB - Shonn Greene
BN - TE - Dustin Keller
K - Graham Gano
DEF - Cleveland

Why this team will win:
A year ago, envy is god was one of the worst teams in Awesomeness Abounds for the first half of the season.  Manager Ahmed was able to right the ship, but it was a bit too little too late.  Ahmed's ability to scour the waiver wire is top notch, so don't be surprised if a majority of those bench players are long gone by week 8.

Trent Richardson is a ground-and-pound type of RB who you will never see taken out in goal-line situations.  Montario Hardesty isn't usurping touchdowns from this second-year stud.  And joining him in this fantasy backfield is rookie Le'Veon Bell.  Anybody who has apprehension about a rookie RB need to look no further than the aforementioned Richardson, or Doug Martin even.  Pittsburgh is reportedly committed to putting some more focus on the running game, and Bell could wind up being a very nice steal.

There are practically no WR left in New England, except for Danny Amendola.  I have a ton of faith in him, and envision him as a very viable replacement for Wes Welker.  I would not be surprised if Amendola led the NFL in receptions this season.

Jason Witten was the keeper for envy is god, and while he may not be the prototypical "keeper" player, he is a top three TE in the NFL.  He will be one of the top scorers for this team, while Andrew Luck is poised to break out even more in his sophomore season.

Why this team will suck:
I do not like this WR core.  At all.  Yes, I raved about Amendola, but that doesn't mean he has shed his injury prone knock.  The number of games missed for him may exceed his touchdowns this season.  Greg Jennings was plagued with injuries last year, and was very mediocre - even with one of the best QB in the NFL throwing the ball to him.  Granted Green Bay's offense was littered with play-makers, but going to Christian Ponder will not help improve Jennings' stock.  T.Y. Hilton is fun, but he is far from a consistent week-to-week fantasy contributor.  I would like him better as a flex.

Speaking of flex guys, while I appreciate getting starting RB into those spots, I can't get behind the duo of Rashard Mendenhall and Mark Ingram.  Ingram deals with Darren Sproles and Pierre Thomas taking touches, while Rashard Mendenhall is a shell of his former self since tearing his leg up two years ago.

I can't decide if I love or hate this bench, but since I left it for this portion of the write-up, I guess I'm not a fan.  Danario Alexander was a huge sleeper boom late last season for a few weeks, but fizzled out almost as quickly as he showed up.  Jonathan Stewart has "injury riddled season" written all over him while Denarius Moore and Shonn Greene are nice players, but neither are game-changers in fantasy.  Both guys will likely have good games every few weeks, but it will be up Ahmed to predict it correctly.  I envision many curse-filled rants about his bench outscoring his starters this season.

The special teams on envy is god is atrocious.  Week one, Cleveland's defense may be fine, but they're going to have some bad, bad weeks.  Look for Ahmed to play the defense waiver wire all season long.  And I don't think Graham Gano makes it past week three with envy is god.

Bringing the Ruckus
QB - Russell Wilson
WR - Demaryius Thomas
WR - Andre Johnson
WR - Marques Colston
RB - LeSean McCoy
RB - DeAngelo Williams
TE - Vernon Davis
W/R/T - Golden Tate
W/R/T - Jermaine Gresham
BN - WR - Josh Gordon
BN - QB - Sam Bradford
BN - WR - Chris Givens
BN - WR - Malcom Floyd
BN - RB - Vick Ballard
BN - RB - Michael Bush
BN - WR - Andre Roberts
K - Shayne Graham
DEF - Denver

Why this team will win:
From championship runner-ups two years ago, to out of the playoffs and forgotten last year.  Eddie Ruckus lost track of this team last season, and any chance of righting the ship was quickly out the window.  This is a new year, and this is a very talented squad.

It is no secret Eddie is a Seahawks fan, so Russell Wilson manning the QB spot on this team is hardly a surprise.  While many people may claim Wilson is a risk, I don't.  I love Wilson for fantasy, and think Eddie covered his ass quite well with Sam Bradford as the backup.

The first five guys listed on that team are dirty.  Eddie, while leading the league with players having arbitrary capital letters in their names, has a hell of a WR trio.  As a WR1, I don't like Andre Johnson, but as a WR2?  I love him.  Demaryius Thomas is going to be a top five WR, and you don't get much better than Marques Colston at WR3.

Jonathan Stewart is injured right now, so while many people may scoff at DeAngelo Williams being a RB2, it could very well be a steal.  Mix that in with Vernon Davis on a San Francisco offense with limited weapons, and his second season with dynamic QB Colin Kaepernick, is poised for a great season.

Who doesn't love a QB/WR combo in fantasy?  Eddie is going to be cheering Golden Tate's name more than a few times this year.  Even if he falters, this bench is deep and after his four-game suspension, Josh Gordon will be immediately inserted into this starting lineup.  Making a very good WR core into an potentially epic one.

Doesn't get much better than Denver at defense either.

Why this team will suck:
Jermaine Gresham starting at Flex2 is a big black eye right now.  But insert Chris Givens and you instead have an exciting potential player giving you points.

Shayne Graham was okay for the Houston Texans last year as their kicker, but now with Cleveland, I suspect he could become irrelevant in the fantasy world.  There's a few kickers available that I would take over him.

If Jonathan Stewart returns healthy this season, then Bringing the Ruckus will take a major hit.  There will be more than a few weeks where Colston doesn't get targets, as New Orleans has a very dynamic and crowded offense.  LeSean McCoy is no longer a lock to play a full season anymore, and Eddie failed to get his backup Bryce Brown.  An injury there could completely wreck this team.

Fuck Yeah Seaking!
QB - Colin Kaepernick
WR - Randall Cobb
WR - Vincent Jackson
WR - Hakeem Nicks
RB - Ray Rice
RB - Alfred Morris
TE - Jared Cook
W/R/T - Miles Austin
W/R/T - Andre Brown
BN - WR - Sidney Rice
BN - TE - Antonio Gates
BN - QB - Joe Flacco
BN - RB - Pierre Thomas
BN - WR - Rod Streater
BN - WR - Julian Edelman
BN - TE - Jake Ballard
K - Matt Prater
DEF - Green Bay

Why this team will win:
This team would be so much fun to watch in real life.  Colin Kaepernick is one of the most exciting and dynamic young QB in the league, while Randall Cobb is explosive and Vincent Jackson is one of the premiere deep threats in football.  Add in Ray Rice and Alfred Morris bouncing bodies off each other as they force their way through the defense, and a potentially breakout TE in Jared Cook - you have a fun-ass team here.

Ray Rice was a no-brainer when it comes to who to keep on this team, and his presence alone potentially adds 15-25 points each and every week.  Alfred Morris came out of nowhere last season and a legitimate RB1 option in fantasy.  Will he repeat it again in his sophomore season?

Antonio Gates is a spectacular risk as a team's back-up TE in fantasy, as his reward far outweighs the risk in this situation.  Sidney Rice could very easily be inserted to fill in for an injured Hakeem Nicks should it come to it.

Matt Prater is my candidate for fantasy breakout star for kickers.

Why this team will suck:
Colin Kaepernick, while fantastic to watch, is far from a sure thing this year.  And Randall Cobb had quite a few drops last season, especially compared to how many targets he had.  Hakeem Nicks has fallen far from grace in terms of fantasy, as he has not been a guy to count on since 2011.

Vincent Jackson will have his share of duds this season, as he always does, while those two flex guys are weak.  Miles Austin is being phased out in Dallas, and Andre Brown will likely back-up David Wilson in New York.

Patriots fan here, who has taken a flyer on two guys.  Julian Edelman could pay off, but Jake Ballard is just taking up a roster spot.  There's several guys on the squad vying for snaps, and we would assume Rob Gronkowski would come back eventually.  Jared Cook needs to be as good as advertised, or else Fuck Yeah Seaking! will have a glaring hole in their lineup.

Green Bay is far from a good fantasy defense, manager Ackbar will have issues returning back to the playoffs for the second straight year if this is the defense he rolls with all season.

The Studly Studs
QB - Aaron Rodgers
WR - Julio Jones
WR - James Jones
WR - Anquan Boldin
RB - Maurice Jones-Drew
RB - Darren McFadden
TE - Martellus Bennett
W/R/T - Ahmad Bradshaw
W/R/T - Chris Ivory
BN - TE - Jordan Cameron
BN - WR - Greg Little
BN - WR - Rueben Randle
BN - QB - Josh Freeman
BN - WR/RB - Denard Robinson
BN - RB - Marcus Thigpen
BN - QB - Geno Smith
K - Blair Walsh
DEF - Seattle

Why this team will win:
Any team manned by the magnificent manager Michael Ryne has a chance to win.  Massive ego aside, Aaron Rodgers and Julio Jones is potentially the best QB/WR combo one could have in fantasy.

Four starting RB in the lineup is always a plus for a fantasy team, with guys like Maurice Jones-Drew and Darren McFadden capable of putting up gaudy numbers.  At the top of their games, both guys are RB1 worthy.

James Jones was a TD machine for Green Bay last year, and having both him and Rodgers on the same team will make for some quick and significant point bursts in games this season.  And with Michael Crabtree injured, somebody has to step up at WR for San Francisco, and that could be Anquan Boldin.

Martellus Bennett is primed to breakout even more with Jay Cutler being forced to throw the ball quickly thanks to a suspect offensive line.  Bennett will be his safety net.

Doesn't seem like there is a better special teams combination than Blair Walsh and Seattle.  They'll likely add quite a bit in terms of insurance points.

Why this team will suck:
I think people would be more surprised if Jones-Drew and McFadden played all their games, rather than if they missed games.  It's almost a foregone conclusion that collectively these guys will miss more than a handful of games.  Extremely high risk/reward situation there.

Not to mention both Bradshaw and Ivory have far from strangle holds on their positions.  The running game has potential to be great, but just as much potential to be disastrous for The Studly Studs.

There is likely little to no chance James Jones hauls in 14 TD again this season.  He'll regress.  And if anybody in the starting lineup falters, there is a slew of no-namers in the bench.  In a massive league like this one, taking a chance on some sleepers is fine, but an entire bench?  There's a good chance 75% of those guys will wind up being dropped.

Claire It Out
QB - Tom Brady
WR - Dwayne Bowe
WR - Cecil Shorts
WR - Torrey Smith
RB - Doug Martin
RB - Frank Gore
TE - Brandon Pettigrew
W/R/T - Stevie Johnson
W/R/T - Vincent Brown
BN - TE - Rob Housler
BN - RB - Jonathan Franklin
BN - QB - EJ Manuel
BN - RB - Bryce Brown
BN - WR - Stephen Hill
BN - WR - Robert Woods
BN - WR - Emmanuel Sanders
K - Justin Tucker
DEF - Baltimore

Why this team will win:
Well, well, well...look who learned to draft.  A shockingly decent team for an owner who is, frankly, not known for her fantasy football prowess.

I don't care what people say, depleted offense or not, Tom Brady is still Tom Brady and he'll still be towards the top for fantasy QB.  Mix in his consistent 15+ points each week, and Dwayne Bowe who is almost a lock to return to WR1 form, and Cecil Shorts who proved last year he's one of the most underrated WR in the NFL, and you got yourself a hell of a core.  And that's not even mentioning one of the top fantasy players in the league with stud Doug Martin, and consistent - albeit old - Frank Gore.

Torrey Smith is the only WR left in Baltimore with any talent, so Claire will need her flex spots to flex their muscles.  Stevie Johnson has spurts where he's good, and complete and utter pitiful dud stretches.  Vincent Brown is someone to keep an eye on though, all signs point to him breaking out...if he can stay healthy.

EJ Manuel is probably the top sleeper pick at QB, and could help create some fine trade opportunities going forward.

Why this team will suck:
I apologize for piling on, but Claire needs to prove she can manage a winning team.  This is her second year, and she has clearly improved her drafting, time to improve her management skills.

There is a glaring hole at TE with Brandon Pettigrew.  Seems like she is relying on Rob Housler to be her sleeper pick that really benefits her team.  Trusting an Arizona Cardinal is not a good idea.

Cecil Shorts is impressive, but Blaine Gabbert is still the one throwing the ball to him.  And Baltimore is far from the must-star fantasy defense it once was.  Justin Tucker is solid at kicker, but he won't put up any substantial numbers.  

Jonathan Franklin also could wind up being very useless when it is all said and done.  Bryce Brown will not see the field too often if LeSean McCoy is healthy, and even if he does, he'll probably fumble the ball.  Hope you didn't need those two points.

And who the fuck are Stephen Hill, Robert Woods and Emmanuel Sanders?

Reaper's Funhouse
QB - Peyton Manning
WR - Larry Fitzgerald
WR - Pierre Garcon
WR - DeSean Jackson
RB - Arian Foster
RB - Marshawn Lynch
TE - Owen Daniels
W/R/T - Lance Moore
W/R/T - Brian Hartline
BN - RB - Isaiah Pead
BN - QB - Matt Schaub
BN - RB - Mikel LeShoure
BN - TE - Heath Miller
BN - WR - Darrius Heyward-Bey
K - Sebastian Janikowski
BN - K - Robbie Gould
DEF - New England
BN - DEF - Atlanta

Why this team will win:
There is not a better 1-2 combination at RB in this league than Arian Foster and Marshawn Lynch.  Both guys have the ability to be in the top 5 in scoring for the position.  Last year, Reaper had a dominating and ridiculous combination of those two AND Jamaal Charles and Doug Martin.  However, they fell short of the championship, and decided to bring in a top line WR and QB in Peyton Manning and Larry Fitzgerald.

Pierre Garcon is going to be a stud this season, if he can stay healthy.  Robert Griffin III showed how much he enjoyed throwing to him when they were both on the field in 2012.  And DeSean Jackson is a number one WR in real life, and the third guy on this team.  Can't go wrong there.

There is depth in the special teams with two kickers - one of them being stud Sebastian Janikowski - and two solid defenses.  No need to fret about bye weeks and convincing yourself starting Tennessee is "totally a good idea" come week nine when you're desperate at 3am.

Heath Miller is hurt, but he was great last year.  If he returns, then he could probably overtake Owen Daniels on this team as the starting TE, or at the very least, man a flex spot.

Why this team will suck:
I'll be blunt.  I hate these flex guys.  Lance Moore is a perfectly fine player, sure, but not somebody I am starting week in and week out.  Brian Hartline?  Good luck keeping him in your lineup each week hoping he has that one monster game again.  He'll be useless every other game.

Owen Daniels doesn't excite me, so Miller returning is vital.  And LeShoure is likely useless with Reggie Bush and Joique Bell demanding touches in the backfield.  He's basically Detroit's Knowshon Moreno.  And you know where Moreno is in our league?  In the free agent list.

Darrius Heyward-Bey has more letters in his name than receptions in his career.  And remember what I said in the write-up about Claire The Air?  Don't trust Arizona Cardinals - even if they're Larry Fitzgerald.

#getrekt
QB - Robert Griffin III
WR - Calvin Johnson
WR - Jordy Nelson
WR - Tavon Austin
RB - Adrian Peterson
RB - Darren Sproles
TE - Kyle Rudolph
W/R/T - Danny Woodhead
W/R/T - Jacoby Jones
BN - WR - Aaron Dobson
BN - QB - Carson Palmer
BN - WR - Justin Blackmon
BN - RB - Jacquizz Rodgers
BN - WR - Santana Moss
BN - RB - Daniel Thomas
BN - WR - Nate Washington
K - Greg Zuerlein
DEF - St. Louis

Why this team will win:
Hmm, let's see...Adrian Peterson, damn she's got a top fantasy player.  What else, I'm sure there is a drop from AP to her next play-CALVIN JOHNSON?!  Well, fuck.

Seriously, that combination is deadly.  Mix in Robert Griffin III, who was a fantasy stud when healthy last year and red zone dominator Kyle Rudolph, you have a lot of potential touchdowns each week.

Tavon Austin could maybe be the Offensive Rookie of the Year, and a steal.  Darren Sproles gets a butt-load of touches in New Orleans, and if this was PPR, I'd probably declare the championship as hers.  Not bad for a rookie owner.

St. Louis is an extremely underrated defense, while Legatron will get quite a few attempts at big fantasy points with the amount of 50+ kicks he'll have a shot at.

Why this team will suck:
I realize this is a deep league, so I say these things with an understanding of such, but we have another case of flex positions being iffy.  While Jacoby Jones is likely somebody to benefit in Baltimore with a lackluster receiving core, not to mention potential return TD, he is far from a fantasy stud.  And Danny Woodhead is hit or miss, more often miss.

Jacquizz Rodgers fumbles like no other, and is a backup in real life.  Carson Palmer is a check-down machine, so she better hope RGIII doesn't get hurt or else her potentially dominating trio will fall down to a duo with no QB.

Justin Blackmon is useless for the first month, and then who knows?  Blaine Gabbert is not talented enough to get touches to him and Cecil Shorts.  Somebody will be left out.

Nate Washington and Santana Moss are both eligible for senior citizen discounts, while Aaron Dobson is a literal no-namer.  And owners last year will tell you how frustrating having Daniel Thomas on your team can be.

Greg Zuerlein has pop in his leg, but he's maddeningly inconsistent.  You could do a lot better, and a lot safer, at kicker.

Kristy's Gamers
QB - Matthew Stafford
WR - Victor Cruz
WR - Reggie Wayne
WR - Mike Williams
RB - C.J. Spiller
RB - Stevan Ridley
TE - Fred Davis
W/R/T - Shane Vereen
W/R/T - Eddie Lacy
BN - TE - Rob Gronkowski
BN - WR - Percy Harvin
BN - RB - Marcel Reece
BN - RB - Ryan Broyles
BN - RB - Christine Michael
BN - WR - Kenbrell Thompkins
K - Matt Bryant
DEF - Tampa Bay
BN - DEF - Dallas

Why this team will win:
According to our Yahoo! page, this team had the best draft of everyone in the league.  So congratulations on that meaningless award.

Still, with the last pick, third-year veteran Kristy did a superb job of rounding out her team.  There were rumors that she was going to keep RGIII over C.J. Spiller, but made a last second change of heart.  Good move.  Spiller has potential to be a top 3 fantasy player this season if he stays on the field.  Him and Stevan Ridley will carry this team to plenty of victories.

Eddie Lacy is starting for Green Bay, and having another starting RB in a flex spot always makes me hard.  Shane Vereen, while not technically a starter in New England, will probably see snaps in so many formations, he might as well be.  Potential breakout stud right there.

Matt Bryant is probably the safest pick one could have at kicker, and Tampa Bay is a decent sleeper.  Not to mention she has Dallas as insurance.  Good drafting.

Love Fred Davis for a sleeper pick at TE, as he will more than provide stopgap material until Rob Gronkowski comes back.  Speaking of Gronk, if he can come back in the middle of the season, and Percy Harvin can actually play in November/December, then Kristy's Gamers has a legitimate shot at the championship.

Why this team will suck
Relying on injured players to return and provide something to your fantasy team is recipe for disaster.  Ask people who drafted Derrick Rose last year in fantasy basketball.

Matthew Stafford throws the ball more than any other QB in the NFL, but he's far from a fantasy stud.  He only threw three more TD than interceptions last year, and I don't trust him.  I will admit, if Stafford returns to 2011 form, this team could be devastating.

The bench is putrid.  Marcel Reece COULD step up and be a performer, if Darren McFadden gets hurt.  But Ryan Broyles?  Christine Michael, Kenbrell Thompkins?  Taking shots in the dark there.  Broyles is injury prone, Michael is 2013's version of Robert Turbin and Kenbrell Thompkins is someone who may make the Patriots as a 3rd or 4th receiver.

The Losing Team
QB - Matt Ryan
WR - A.J. Green
WR - Antonio Brown
WR - Kenny Britt
RB - Matt Forte
RB - DeMarco Murray
TE - Jimmy Graham
W/R/T - BeJarvus Green-Ellis
W/R/T - Michael Crabtree
BN - QB - Ben Roethlisberger
BN - TE - Jermichael Finley
BN - WR - Cordarrelle Patterson
BN - WR - Mohamed Sanu
BN - RB - Bilal Powell
BN - WR - A.J. Jenkins
BN - WR - Brandon Gibson
K - Stephen Gostkowski
DEF - San Francisco

Why this team will win:
Let me just gush for a second.  Getting Matt Ryan several rounds into the draft is a flat-out steal.  He has potential to be top 5 QB in the NFL, if you ask me, and being able to place him into your roster after you have already drafted valuable pieces is an insane value.  Bravo.

A.J. Green was the keeper here, and while manager Christian had plenty of options, he was the right choice.  Insanely dynamic at WR, and basically the only real option in Cincy for touches.  Matt Forte and DeMarco Murray are perfectly fine at RB, both basically being RB2 worthy manning both spots.  Jimmy Graham is indisputably the top TE in the NFL.  

Antonio Brown will bust out this year and establish himself as a legitimate WR2 option.  There's a ton of good value on this team.

San Francisco and Stephen Gostkowski are the epitome of reliable/solid special teams options.

Why this team will suck:
This is what happens when you go into a fantasy football draft blind.  Michael Crabtree?  Gone.  BenJarvus Green-Ellis?  Losing touches to Giovani Bernard.  This is a case where both current "starters" drafted to play flex are virtually useless.

Who would replace them?  Cordarrelle Patterson?  Better in a dynasty league, not in a win now league.  Mohamed Sanu?  Having him, Green and The Law Firm all in your lineup means you are relying pretty heavily on the Bengals' mediocre offense.  Not good.  Bilal Powell?  At best he's a change-of-pace RB behind Chris Ivory.  

The only one really worth anything is A.J. Jenkins.  He could wind up being a steal.

Better hope nothing happens to Jimmy Graham, because Jermichael Finley is being completely phased out of the offensive game-plan in Green Bay.

Don't even get me started on the ineptitude of Kenny Britt.

Simply Beastly
QB - Drew Brees
WR - Eric Decker
WR - Wes Welker
WR - DeAndre Hopkins
RB - Jamaal Charles
RB - Reggie Bush
TE - Greg Olsen
W/R/T - Giovani Bernard
W/R/T - Fred Jackson
BN - TE - Tyler Eifert
BN - QB - Andy Dalton
BN - WR - Brandon LaFell
BN - RB - LaMichael James
BN - WR - Jon Baldwin
BN - RB - Roy Helu
BN - WR - Doug Baldwin
K - Jason Hanson
DEF - Cincinnati

Why this team will win:
Drew Brees instantly makes this team a player.  He's that good.

Jamaal Charles and Reggie Bush may not be the most hype RB duo, but they are certainly the most underrated - especially Bush in Detroit.  Love it.  Both guys will wind up with well over 1,000 total yards, and 15-20 TD between the two of them.  That's a lot of fantasy goodness.

Wes Welker leads the NFL in receptions seemingly every year, if this was PPR, I would be jizzing for Jeggerd.

Greg Olsen is underrated at TE, and will get more than his fair share of red-zone targets.  And getting Giovani Bernard at flex is extremely valuable, and I 100% approve.  He will likely be starting for the Bengals sooner, rather than later.

Cincinnati at defense is a great value pick.  He can leave them in for every single game and not worry.

Why this team will suck:
As much as I like Eric Decker and Wes Welker, I can't get behind entrusting both of them on your fantasy team.  With Demaryius Thomas in the fold as well, plus a competent running game, somebody has to be left out.  And with no true WR1 on the team, and relying on DeAndre Hopkins to show up, Jeggerd could have some issues with production from his WR core.

There isn't anyone on the bench he could put in to help.  Jon/Doug Baldwin are interchangeable because they both suck.  Jon being the one with a sliver of hope to improve with Alex Smith and Andy Reid primed to take over for Kansas City.

Brandon LaFell is inconsistent and disappointed majorly when given an opportunity to shine in 2012.  Since there is nobody else worth a damn in Carolina, he'll continue to get plenty of looks.

LaMichael James and Roy Helu are basically useless.

Jason Hanson is literally useless.

The O Line
QB - Cam Newton
WR - Roddy White
WR - Brandon Marshall
WR - Mike Wallace
RB - Lamar Miller
RB - David Wilson
TE - Brandon Myers
W/R/T - Montee Ball
W/R/T - Daryl Richardson
BN - RB - Ryan Mathews
BN - RB - Bernard Pierce
BN - TE - Dwayne Allen
BN - QB - Ryan Tannehill
BN - TE - Scott Chandler
BN - WR - Aldrick Robinson
BN - QB - Michael Vick
K - Phil Dawson
DEF - Houston

Why this team will win:
New owner Olivia had to inherit easily the worst team in the league in terms of talent.  Roddy White wound up being her keeper, and from the get-go, she was behind the eight ball.

Credit where credit is due, Olivia drafted Brandon Marshall and gave her team a legitimate fantasy threat, and number one WR.  Now Roddy White, rather than being a negative, becomes very valuable as a WR2, along with the idiotic and inconsistent Mike Wallace at WR3.  I don't mind him as a third WR.

Brandon Myers is a more than formidable TE, as he was fairly decent in Oakland last year.  Martellus Bennett became fantasy relevant with the Giants last year, so Eli has the ability to do it again with Myers.  Even if he struggles, both Dwayne Allen and Scott Chandler provide plenty of depth on the bench.

Phil Dawson is with the 49ers now, after establishing himself as a very solid fantasy kicker option for the pitiful Browns.  I bet he becomes David Akers circa 2011.  And Houston added ball-hawk Ed Reed to their already premiere defense, that only means good things.

Why this team will suck:
As always, rookie managers are prone to mistakes.  Olivia will have to prove she knows how to manage a team.  And she has a hell of a task ahead of her.

The running situations in Denver and St. Louis are murky at best.  Montee Ball is a rookie, and sure, he'll probably wind up starting over Ronnie Hillman eventually, it doesn't mean he won't lose a ton of touches throughout the season.  Same goes for Daryl Richarson, who unlike like Ball is actually considered a starter, but will still lose plenty of opportunities to Isaiah Pead, as well as Zac Stacy.

Bernard Pierce is a sexy pick, but he's likely not going to actually provide anything of note for this team this season.

Did somebody forget to tell this girl how valuable running-backs are in fantasy football?  Lamar Miller and David Wilson could wind up being disastrous for The O Line.

So...what's going to happen?
Top 4 Teams Make Playoffs
5-8 Play Consolation
1 - Kristy's Gamers
2 - The Studly Studs
3 - #getrekt
4 - Reaper's Funhouse
5 - Claire It Out
6 - Bringing the Ruckus
7 - Fat Jesus' Disciples
8 - The Losing Team
9 - Fuck Yeah Seaking!
10 - envy is god
11 - Simply Beastly
12 - The O Line

Champions:
The Studly Studs
...what else did you expect?

Hope everyone has a fun year! Looking forward to it.

Saturday, August 3, 2013

Awesomeness Abounds Trivia

Here are each team's rosters the moment the draft ended, and their rosters on the final day of the season.  Why?  Because fuck you.

Fat Jesus' Disciples

Opening Day:
QB - Tony Romo
QB - Matt Flynn
WR - Dez Bryant
WR - Eric Decker
WR - Kendall Wright
WR - Brian Hartline
WR - Kevin Walter
WR - Rueben Randle
WR - Devin Hester
WR - Vincent Brown
RB - Adrian Peterson
RB - Michael Bush
RB - Beanie Wells
RB - Evan Royster
TE - Rob Gronkowski
TE - Tony Moeaki
K - Dan Bailey
DEF - Chicago

Final Day:
QB - Tony Romo
QB - Russell Wilson
WR - Dez Bryant
WR - Eric Decker
WR - Kendall Wright
WR - Brian Hartline
WR - Brandon Stokley
WR - Leonard Hankerson
RB - Adrian Peterson
RB - Alfred Morris
RB - Marcel Reece
RB - Jacob Hester
TE - Rob Gronkowski
TE - Coby Fleener
TE - Dwayne Allen
K - Dan Bailey
K - Phil Dawson
DEF - Chicago

9 of the original 18 players made final roster

envy is god

Opening Day:
QB - Tom Brady
QB - Andy Dalton
WR - Dwayne Bowe
WR - Greg Jennings
WR - Titus Young
WR - Early Doucet
WR - Austine Collie
RB - BenJarvus Green-Ellis
RB - Fred Jackson
RB - Daniel Thomas
RB - Mike Goodson
RB - Delone Carter
TE - Jason Witten
K - Sebastian Janikowski
K - Steven Hauschka
DEF - Seattle
DEF - Buffalo

Final Day:
QB - Matthew Stafford
QB - Andy Dalton
WR - Greg Jennings
WR - Cecil Shorts
WR - Danario Alexander
WR - Andre Roberts
WR - Emmanuel Sanders
WR - Joseph Morgan
WR - Donald Jones
RB - Darren Sproles
RB - BenJarvus Green-Ellis
RB - Beanie Wells
RB - Montell Owens
RB - Curtis Brinkley
TE - Jason Witten
K - Blair Walsh
K - Sebastian Janikowski
DEF - Indianapolis

5 of the original 18 players made final roster

The Studly Studs

Opening Day:
QB - Aaron Rodgers
QB - Mark Sanchez
WR - Brandon Marshall
WR - Marques Colston
WR - Emmanuel Sanders
WR - Laurent Robinson
WR - Chad Johnson
RB - Steven Jackson
RB - Frank Gore
RB - Stevan Ridley
RB - Rashard Mendnhall
RB - Felix Jones
TE - Tony Gonzalez
TE - Scott Chandler
TE - Coby Fleener
K - Stephen Gostkowski
DEF - Houston
DEF - Denver

Final Day:
QB - Aaron Rodgers
QB - Nick Foles
WR - Brandon Marshall
WR - Mike Wallace
WR - Stevie Johnson
WR - T.Y. Hilton
WR - Alshon Jeffery
WR - Riley Cooper
WR - Cole Beasley
RB - Trent Richardson
RB - Steven Jackson
RB - Vick Ballard
RB - Mikel LeShoure
RB - Bryce Brown
TE - Jimmy Graham
TE - Tony Gonzalez
K - Stephen Gostkowski
DEF - Houston

6 of the original 18 players made final roster

Reaper's Funhouse

Opening Day:
QB - Jay Cutler
QB - Christian Ponder
WR - Anquan Boldin
WR - Miles Austin
WR - Pierre Garcon
WR - Brian Quick
RB - Arian Foster
RB - Doug Martin
RB - Marshawn Lynch
RB - Jamaal Charles
RB - Ronnie Hillman
RB - James Starks
TE - Kyle Rudolph
TE - Owen Daniels
K - Matt Bryant
K - Rob Bironas
DEF - Arizona
DEF - Dallas

Final Day:
QB - Colin Kaepernick
QB - Jay Cutler
QB - Alex Smith
WR - Anquan Boldin
WR - Miles Austin
WR - Pierre Garcon
WR - Rod Streater
RB - Arian Foster
RB - Doug Martin
RB - Marshawn Lynch
RB - Jamaal Charles
RB - James Starks
TE - Kyle Rudolph
TE - Owen Daniels
K - Matt Bryant
K - Rob Bironas
DEF - Arizona
DEF - Dallas

15 of the original 18 players made final roster

Dimpz Army

Opening Day:
QB - Drew Brees
QB - Ryan Fitzpatrick
WR - Percy Harvin
WR - Roddy White
WR - Torrey Smith
WR - Earl Bennett
WR - Steve Breaston
RB - Michael Turner
RB - David Wilson
RB - Pierre Thomas
RB - Isaac Redman
RB - Joe McKnight
RB - Toby Gerhart
TE - Jacob Tamme
TE - Dallas Clark
K - David Akers
K - Graham Gano
DEF - New York Giants

Final Day:
QB - Drew Brees
QB - Ryan Fitzpatrick
WR - Torrey Smith
WR - Danny Amendola
WR - Donnie Avery
WR - Braylon Edwards
RB - Frank Gore
RB - Michael Turner
RB - David Wilson
RB - Pierre Thomas
RB - Knowshon Moreno
TE - Brandon Myers
TE - Dennis Pitta
TE - David Thomas
TE - Jeff Cumberland
K - David Akers
DEF - St. Louis
DEF - New York Giants

7 of the original 18 players made final roster

Claire It Out

Opening Day:
QB - Matthew Stafford
QB - Alex Smith
WR - Larry Fitzgerald
WR - Stevie Johnson
WR - Davone Bess
WR - Devery Henderson
WR - Santonio Holmes
RB - Darren Sproles
RB - Willis McGahee
RB - Mike Tolbert
RB - Ryan Williams
RB - Donald Brown
RB - LeGarrette Blount
RB - Taiwan Jones
TE - Antonio Gates
TE - Ed Dickson
K - Neil Rackers
DEF - Detroit

Final Day:
QB - Tom Brady
WR - Larry Fitzgerald
WR - Marques Colston
WR - Davone Bess
WR - Jeremy Kerley
WR - Jairus Wright
WR - Jason Avant
RB - Stevan Ridley
RB - Bilal Powell
RB - Alex Green
RB - Shaun Draughn
RB - Montario Hardesty
TE - Antonio Gates
TE - Tony Scheffler
K - Justin Tucker
K - Garrett Hartley
DEF - Minnesota
DEF - Detroit

4 of the original 18 players made final roster

Bringing the Ruckus

Opening Day:
QB - Andrew Luck
QB - Ben Roethlisberger
QB - Matt Hasselbeck
WR - Julio Jones
WR - Victor Cruz
WR - Nate Washington
WR - Nate Burleson
WR - Michael Floyd
WR - Deion Branch
RB - LeSean McCoy
RB - Jonathan Stewart
RB - Robert Turbin
TE - Vernon Davis
TE - Brent Celek
TE - Zach Miller
K - John Kasay
DEF - Baltimore
DEF - San Diego

Final Day:
QB - Andrew Luck
QB - Ben Roethlisberger
WR - Julio Jones
WR - Victor Cruz
WR - Nate Washington
WR - Brandon Gibson
WR - Ryan Broyles
RB - LeSean McCoy
RB - Jonathan Stewart
RB - John Kuhn
RB - Brandon Bolden
TE - Vernon Davis
TE - Brent Celek
TE - Zach Miller
K - Alex Henery
K - Adam Vinatieri
DEF - Baltimore
DEF - San Diego

12 of the original 18 players made final roster

The Bunzzzzzzzz

Opening Day:
QB - Eli Manning
QB - Matt Cassel
WR - Vincent Jackson
WR - Danny Amendola
WR - Sidney Rice
WR - Denarius Moore
WR - Alshon Jeffery
RB - Reggie Bush
RB - Ryan Mathews
RB - Jacquizz Rodgers
RB - Peyton Hillis
RB - Tim Hightower
TE - Greg Olsen
TE - Anthony Fasano
K - Robbie Gould
K - Nick Novak
DEF - Atlanta
DEF - New England

Final Day:
QB - Eli Manning
QB - Brandon Weeden
WR - Vincent Jackson
WR - Sidney Rice
WR - Denarius Moore
WR - Eddie Royal
WR - Jon Baldwin
RB - Reggie Bush
RB - Ryan Mathews
RB - Jacquizz Rodgers
RB - Peyton Hillis
RB - Felix Jones
TE - Greg Olsen
TE - Anthony Fasano
K - Robbie Gould
K - Steven Hauschka
DEF - Atlanta
DEF - New England

13 of the original 18 players made final roster

Fuck Yeah Seaking!

Opening Day:
QB - Peyton Manning
QB - Josh Freeman
WR - Andre Johnson
WR - James Jones
WR - Santana Moss
WR - Brandon Lloyd
WR - Darrius Heyward-Bey
WR - Randy Moss
WR - Dezmon Briscoe
WR - Joe Adams
RB - Ray Rice
RB - Shonn Greene
RB - Mark Ingram
RB - Isiah Pead
TE - Jermichael Finley
TE - Joel Dressen
K - Adam Vinatieri
DEF - Pittsburgh

Final Day:
QB - Peyton Manning
QB - Josh Freeman
WR - Andre Johnson
WR - James Jones
WR - Santana Moss
WR - Brandon Lloyd
WR - Chris Givens
WR - Darrius Heyward-Bey
RB - Ray Rice
RB - Shonn Greene
RB - Rashad Jennings
RB - LaMichael James
TE - Jermichael Finley
TE - Joel Dressen
K - Lawrence Tynes
K - Connor Barth
DEF - Pittsburgh
DEF - Miami

12 of the original 18 players made final roster

IHateBamsRingTone

Opening Day:
QB - Cam Newton
QB - Matt Schaub
WR - Hakeem Nicks
WR - Lance Moore
WR - DeSean Jackson
WR - Kenny Britt
WR - Golden Tate
WR - Jerome Simpson
WR - Jon Baldwin
RB - Ahmad Bradshaw
RB - Darren McFadden
RB - Shane Vereen
RB - Alex Green
RB - Jahvid Best
RB - Joseph Addai
TE - Jermaine Gresham
K - Mike Nugent
DEF - Philadelphia

Final Day:
QB - Cam Newton
QB - Matt Schaub
WR - Hakeem Nicks
WR - Lance Moore
WR - DeSean Jackson
WR - Kenny Britt
WR - Golden Tate
WR - Dexter McCluster
WR - Devin Hester
RB - Ahmad Bradshaw
RB - Darren McFadden
RB - Daniel Thomas
RB - Mike Tolbert
TE - Marcedes Lewis
TE - Jermaine Gresham
K - Nick Folk
K - Mike Nugent
DEF - Cleveland

11 of the original 18 players made final roster

Deuces Wild

Opening Day:
QB - Sam Bradford
QB - Michael Vick
WR - Calvin Johnson
WR - Jordy Nelson
WR - Antonio Brown
WR - Mohamed Sanu
WR - Jabar Gaffney
WR - Terrell Owens
RB - DeAngelo Williams
RB - Danny Woodhead
RB - Cedric Benson
RB - Brandon Jacobs
TE - Aaron Hernandez
TE - Dustin Keller
TE - Kellen Winslow
K - Jason Hanson
K - Mason Crosby
DEF - San Francisco

Final Day:
QB - Sam Bradford
QB - Michael Vick
WR - Calvin Johnson
WR - Jordy Nelson
WR - Antonio Brown
WR - Kevin Walter
WR - Brandon LaFell
WR - Andrew Hawkins
WR - Devery Henderson
RB - DeAngelo Williams
RB - Mark Ingram
RB - Ronnie Brown
RB - Ryan Grant
TE - Aaron Hernandez
TE - Heath Miller
K - Jason Hanson
K - Mason Crosby
DEF - San Francisco

10 of the original 18 players made final roster

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Opening Day:
QB - Matt Ryan
QB - Jake Locker
WR - A.J. Green
WR - Demaryius Thomas
WR - Randall Cobb
WR - Michael Crabtree
WR - Mike Williams
WR - Robert Meachem
WR - Dexter McCluster
WR - Mario Manningham
RB - Chris Johnson
RB - DeMarco Murray
RB - Ben Tate
RB - Kevin Smith
TE - Dennis Pitta
TE - Jared Cook
K - Josh Scobee
DEF - Tennessee

Final Day:
QB - Matt Ryan
WR - A.J. Green
WR - Demaryius Thomas
WR - Randall Cobb
WR - Michael Crabtree
WR - Mike Williams
WR - Joshua Morgan
WR - Aldrick Robinson
WR - Mario Manningham
RB - Chris Johnson
RB - DeMarco Murray
RB - Daryl Richardson
RB - Shane Vereen
RB - Ben Tate
TE - Dallas Clark
K - Shayne Graham
DEF - Seattle
DEF - Washington

10 of the original 18 players made final roster

Kristy's Gamers

Opening Day:
QB - Robert Griffin III
QB - Joe Flacco
QB - Tim Tebow
WR - Reggie Wayne
WR - Wes Welker
WR - Justin Blackmon
WR - Jeremy Maclin
WR - Jacoby Ford
WR - Plaxico Burress
RB - C.J. Spiller
RB - Matt Forte
RB - Maurice Jones-Drew
RB - LaMichael James
RB - Dion Lewis
TE - Brandon Pettigrew
TE - Marcedes Lewis
K - Dan Carpenter
DEF - New York Jets

Final Day:
QB - Robert Griffin III
QB - Joe Flacco
WR - Reggie Wayne
WR - Wes Welker
WR - Josh Gordon
WR - Justin Blackmon
WR - Jeremy Maclin
RB - C.J. Spiller
RB - Matt Forte
RB - Maurice Jones-Drew
RB - Joique Bell
RB - Mike Goodson
RB - Jackie Battle
TE - Brandon Pettigrew
TE - Scott Chandler
K - Greg Zuerlein
DEF - Cincinnati
DEF - New York Jets

11 of the original 18 players made final roster

No Punt Intended

Opening Day:
QB - Philip Rivers
QB - Carson Palmer
WR - Steve Smith
WR - Mike Wallace
WR - Malcom Floyd
WR - Greg Little
WR - Stephen Hill
WR - Doug Baldwin
RB - Trent Richardson
RB - Mikel LeShoure
RB - Roy Helu
TE - Jimmy Graham
TE - Heath Miller
TE - Fred Davis
K - Rian Lindell
K - Billy Cundiff
DEF - Cincinnati
DEF - Green Bay

Final Day:
QB - Philip Rivers
QB - Carson Palmer
QB - Chad Henne
WR - Roddy White
WR - Steve Smith
WR - Malcom Floyd
WR - Greg Little
WR - Dwayne Harris
WR - Kris Durham
RB - Danny Woodhead
RB - Chris Ivory
RB - Jonathan Dwyer
RB - Isaac Redman
TE - Martellus Bennett
TE - Dustin Keller
K - Shaun Suisham
DEF - Denver
DEF - Green Bay

6 of the original 18 players made final roster