I've come to realize over the past 20 and a half years of my life that a lot of times, there won't be anyone around to listen to you when you're feeling hopeless. My main problem in this department is the fact that I allow my anxiety to get the best of me during the most lonely hours. 4-8 AM? Decent shot that I'm feeling pretty crappy. Couple that with the fact that I'm one stubborn asshole when it comes to actually sharing with people just what exactly is eating at me. Yep, that's me, the annoying dude who Tweets a sad message but then brushes people away when they ask what's wrong with a simple "It's nothing to worry about, honestly" I often times wonder just why people even bother with me anymore. I don't run to my phone to text someone and ask them to vent or sign on Skype and call someone to unleash a fury of sadness. You may see a vaguely depressing Tweet (most likely a song lyric) but you'll never see an emotional outcry begging someone to understand my despair or bashing the people around me. I love every one of my friends, whether they know it or not, they mean the world to me. That is exactly why I DON'T come to them, I know so much of my friends have enough to worry about in their own lives, they don't need my bullshit bringing them down as well.
I swear all of this has a meaning, it's my introduction to the first ever Song Spotlight. When I get upset or depressed, I turn to my iPod. 80 GB of therapy, for the past 4 years this thing has kept me sane in my darkest hours. Instead of flipping out and punching a hole in the wall or running to the refrigerator and drowning my sorrows in alcohol, I lay down and put the headphones in my ears. Do I completely forget about my problems? Absolutely not. The songs put them in perspective. They show me that even though I am completely miserable, I can relax listening to someone I admire sing about the exact same issues. This post is going to showcase a particular song that has and/or is taking over my life...
A Day to Remember is post-hardcore/pop punk band that I got acquainted with 2 years ago. I listened to them on and off, they had a couple good songs but I never went out of my way to listen to them. That all changed when they released their first single All I Want off the new album What Separates Me from You in late 2010. I didn't come across this song until January of 2011 when I was waiting for a class to begin. There is one thing you should know about me, my iPod is filed with a multitude of songs that I have never heard before. I will periodically check up on bands I like to see if they have released a new single lately and if they have, I add them to my iPod for future listening. That is what happened with All I Want. I hit shuffle on my iPod and the opening guitar riffs hit me like a speeding train. I sat there motionless on one of my school's benches, blankly staring as I focused all of my attention on this new song that had completely shook me to my core. The lyrics are the epitome of how I feel in my day-to-day life...
I'm always screaming my lungs out until my head starts spinning, playing my songs is the way I cope with life.
Won't keep my voice down, know the words I speak are the thoughts I think out loud.
I like to keep things honest, I'm a safe bet like your life's staked on it.
Let's leave no words unspoken and save regrets for the broken.
Will you even look back when you think of me?
All I want is a place to call my own, to mend the hearts of everyone who feels alone. You know to keep your hopes up high and your head down low.
Still got something left to prove, it tends to keep things moving, while everyone around me says my last days are looming overhead but what the hell do they think they know? I keep my head above the water while they drown in the undertow
If you take it from me, live your life for yourself, because when it's all said and done, you don't need anyone else.
So let's get back to when everything seemed perfect, not a worry in the world so tell me was this all worth it?
I do what I want so everyone's always judging me. I'm not afraid of anything and I've got the whole world in front of me.
Those are the words that came blasting through my eardrums 7 months ago and they never left. To give you some perspective, on the playcount in my iPod, All I Want has 111 plays, the next song after it has 48 plays. I'd say my favorite part of this song is how much of an emotional roller coaster it is (which is CERTAINLY something I can relate to) It tells of emotional struggles in day-to-day life (regret and uncertainty being prominent) but ends with the most uplifting and promising words you can hear...
I'm not afraid of anything and I've got the whole world in front of me.
If I had to choose one singular lyric that stuck with me the most then I know exactly which one I would choose...
All I want is a place to call my own, to mend the hearts of everyone who feels alone. You know to keep your hopes up high and your head down low.
That lyric has become my motto in life, that is me in just 2 short sentences. Never has a song lyric struck such a chord with me and I don't think there can be another one that ever has the same effect. The same goes for the entire song itself. It is easily my favorite song of all-time, not just because it's a hell of a lot of fun to listen to and gives me eargasms, but because it inspires me. This song makes me want to become a better person. It's all about that lasting impression with music. Sure, I'll listen to your song nonstop for a week, but will I still listen in a month? This song has me hooked forever, I will always turn to it when I need that pick-me-up. If I ever had the privilege of meeting the guys from A Day to Remember I would simply shake their hands and express as much gratitude as I possibly could for making this song.
P.S.
The music video for this song is absurdly awesome as well. Just saying.
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