Random-Ass Awesomeness Abounds In-Season Review

Fellow fantasy nerds, the gloss on the wood has turned into scuff and your fresh new shoes have faded into the back of your closet behind the torn-up hoody you haven't worn since junior high.  That beautiful team you drafted in August that caused rosterbation the likes of which not seen before looks completely different.  Was it for the better?  Worse?  Let your nerd guide, Michael Ryne, take you through what could have been and what could still happen.

1 - Reaper's Funhouse (8-2)

Week 1 roster:

QB - Peyton Manning

WR - Pierre Garcon

WR - Michael Crabtree

WR - Sammy Watkins

RB - Marshawn Lynch

RB - DeMarco Murray

TE - Jason Witten

Flex - Steven Jackson

Flex - Brian Hartline

K - Adam Vinatieri

DEF - Cincinnati

BN - Tim Wright

BN - Derek Carr

BN - Chris Ivory

BN - Harry Douglas

BN - Rod Streater

BN - Dan Carpenter

Current roster:

QB - Peyton Manning

WR - Pierre Garcon

WR - Anquan Boldin

WR - Sammy Watkins

RB - Marshawn Lynch

RB - DeMarco Murray

TE - Jason Witten

Flex - Chris Ivory

Flex - Percy Harvin

K - Adam Vinatieri

DEF - Cincinnati

BN - Eddie Royal

BN - Austin Seferian-Jenkins

BN - Tim Wright

BN - Roy Helu Jr.

BN - Derek Carr

BN - Dan Carpenter

Is this finally the God damn, mother-fucking year for Reaper?  I have said it once and I will say it a million times, Reaper's Funhouse should have already won at least one championship in our league's illustrious history -- but he has nothing on his mantel.  With a roster led by literal football robot destroyer, Peyton Manning and a RB duo the likes of which would make any fantasy nerd cream his pants, Reaper's Funhouse is in the driver's seat after knocking off his biggest competition this past week in Simply Beastly.

A regular season darling, Reaper's Funhouse is still searching for that moment of glory in the playoffs.  Chris Ivory emerging as a bonafide flex stud has helped this team immensely while Jason Witten continues to prove that age ain't nothing but a number.  Kudos to Reaper for covering his ass, though, because eventually Jerry Jones will take Witten out to pasture and put him down, so trading the dinosaur that is Steven Jackson for a spry, young tight end prospect in Austin Seferian-Jenkins was extremely prudent.

Derek Carr is basically the fantasy version of Brock Osweiler.

2 - BLOWN THE FUCK OUT (7-3)

Week 1 roster:

QB - Aaron Rodgers

WR - Demaryius Thomas

WR - Randall Cobb

WR - Kendall Wright

RB - Chris Johnson

RB - Darren Sproles

TE - Jordan Reed

Flex - Mohamed Sanu

Flex - Danny Amendola

K - Steven Hauschka

DEF - Arizona

BN - James Jones

BN - Bishop Sankey

BN - Christine Michael

BN - Blake Bortles

BN - Richard Rodgers

BN - Buffalo

Current roster:

QB - Aaron Rodgers

WR - Demaryius Thomas

WR - Randall Cobb

WR - Larry Fitzgerald

RB - Justin Forsett

RB - Ryan Mathews

TE - Charles Clay

Flex - Mohamed Sanu

Flex - Darren Sproles

K - Chandler Catanzaro

DEF - Arizona

BN - Jordan Reed

BN - Robert Woods

BN - Stedman Bailey

BN - Chris Johnson

BN - Branden Oliver

BN - Doug Martin

A year ago, Olivia traded Cam Newton and Brandon Marshall for Aaron Rodgers and her team torpedoed because fantasy football is a cold, heartless bitch.  She then watched Newton and Marshall go on to win the championship on The Studly Studs.  The patience has paid off this year as Olivia is enjoying her first elite team in her short fantasy football history.

Aaron Godgers is on a tear this season and anyone with him leading the way will be a threat to win each week, but when you add in an unfair WR core like Olivia has, you have a squad that can be the top scorer on any given week.

The running backs on this team were easily the weak point on an otherwise very formidable roster.  An ability to improve a team during the season itself is vital for any scrub who wishes to step up with the big boys (or girls, in this league).  Chris Johnson is a bench player for BTFO now while Darren Sproles is a flex guy thanks to the addition of Justin Forsett and Ryan Mathews/Branden Oliver.  Forsett is one of fantasy's top running backs this year.  Seriously

Ryan Mathews probably has broken a bone in the time it has taken me to write this sentence, but if he can be healthy for the remainder of the season and provide Olivia with some sort of yardage stability, she could join Beastly and Reaper in the small group of championship contenders.

3 - Simply Beastly (7-3)

Week 1 roster:

QB - Drew Brees

WR - Julio Jones

WR - T.Y. Hilton

WR - Marques Colston

RB - Jamaal Charles

RB - Rashad Jennings

TE - Jared Cook

Flex - Kelvin Benjamin

Flex - Riley Cooper

K - Phil Dawson

DEF - Seattle

BN - Andy Dalton

BN - LeGarrette Blount

BN - Steve Smith Sr.

BN - Donte Moncrief

BN - Dwayne Allen

BN - Paul Richardson

Current roster:

QB - Drew Brees

WR - Julio Jones

WR - T.Y. Hilton

WR - Steve Smith Sr.

RB - Jamaal Charles

RB - Rashad Jennings

TE - Mychal Rivera

Flex - Kelvin Benjamin

Flex - Odell Beckham Jr.

K - Shayne Graham

DEF - Carolina

BN - Tre Mason

BN - Bobby Rainey

BN - Dwayne Allen

BN - Marques Colston

BN - Donte Moncrief

BN - Andy Dalton

For my money, Simply Beastly has the deepest and most complete roster in our league.  After a ridiculously successful debut season a year ago in Awesomeness Abounds, he is poised once again to challenge for a championship he just missed out on a season ago -- by a mere .40 points to The Studly Studs.

I detested Riley Cooper in the flex spot when the season broke, so Jeggerd decided to take my opinion and obliterate it into pure nothingness by trading for rookie sensation Odell Beckham Jr.  With the rookie mega-duo of Beckham and Kelvin Benjamin in the flex spots, you have one of the best lineups in our league.  Some people are starting Corey Washington in this league by comparison.

Bench guys like Tre Mason, Dwayne Allen, Marques Colston, Donte Moncrief and Bobby Rainey would start on most other teams.  They're just fodder to this team ready to annihilate your asshole any given week.

4 - Kristy's Gamers (6-4)

Week 1 roster:

QB - Matthew Stafford

WR - Victor Cruz

WR - Roddy White

WR - Emmanuel Sanders

RB - Arian Foster

RB - Pierre Thomas

TE - Martellus Bennett

Flex - DeAngelo Williams

Flex - Tavon Austin

K - Nate Freese

DEF - New England

BN - Andrew Hawkins

BN - Aaron Dobson

BN - Dexter McCluster

BN - Jermaine Kearse

BN - Lorenzo Taliaferro

BN - Jonathan Grimes

Current roster:

QB - Matthew Stafford

WR - Roddy White

WR - Terrance Williams

WR - Andrew Hawkins

RB - Arian Foster

RB - DeAngelo Williams

TE - Martellus Bennett

Flex - Hakeem Nicks

Flex - Lorenzo Taliaferro

K - Shaun Suisham

DEF - New England

BN - Corey Washington

BN - Theo Riddick

BN - Alfred Blue

BN - Eric Ebron

BN - Blake Bortles

BN - St. Louis

Kristy's Gamers is ran by, well, obviously Kristy -- HOWEVER, she must be a gypsy because this team has no right being a top-4 team in the league holding on to a playoff spot.  At just 1263.22 points, Kristy's Gamers have scored less than the next seven teams below them in the standings currently.

Trading away Peyton Manning's new BFF in Emmanuel Sanders will be a move that comes back to haunt a team currently employing regular playing time to rookie RB Lorenzo Taliaferro.  With the final precious few weeks of the season left before fantasy playoffs begin, Kristy's downward spiral is already on the horizon.  Currently mired in a two-game losing streak as her nice PPR find in Andrew Hawkins deals with injuries and Arian Foster's hamstrings continue to disintegrate before our eyes, this nice little-engine-that-could team will be lucky to finish above .500 this year.

Matthew Stafford has been a huge disappointment this year overall, but the return of Calvin Johnson could mean a sliver of hope for Kristy's Gamers.  I won't hold my breath, though, because DeAngelo Williams is the second-best running back on this team.

5 - Tag Team Ass Factory (5-5)

Week 1 roster:

QB - Russell Wilson

WR - Alshon Jeffery

WR - Percy Harvin

WR - Golden Tate

RB - Eddie Lacy

RB - Knowshon Moreno

TE - Julius Thomas

Flex - Anquan Boldin

Flex - Vernon Davis

K - Brandon McManus

DEF - Philadelphia

BN - Stevan Ridley

BN - Jeremy Hill

BN - Antonio Gates

BN - Josh Gordon

BN - Ben Roethlisberger

BN - Coby Fleener

Current roster:

QB - Russell Wilson

WR - Alshon Jeffery

WR - Golden Tate

WR - Michael Crabtree

RB - Eddie Lacy

RB - Jerick McKinnon

TE - Julius Thomas

Flex - Jeremy Hill

Flex - Larry Donnell

K - Cody Parkey

DEF - Philadelphia

BN - Doug Baldwin

BN - Josh Gordon

BN - Isaiah Crowell

BN - Coby Fleener

BN - Kendall Hunter

BN - Houston

There is a lot of hubbub surrounding the possibility of the defending champions making a run at the final fourth playoff seed in the coming weeks, but it's Eddeh's Tag Team Ass Factory that is the team to pay attention to.  Armed with a complete roster filled to the brim with top fantasy stars, this is the squad to assume the 4th seed in the coming weeks.  At only one game behind currently, I would expect Tag Team Ass Factory to be the 4th seed this time next week.

Gio Bernard's injury has been spectacular news for Jeremy Hill and Eddeh who can now put him into his lineup on any given week.  And despite Alshon Jeffery and Michael Crabtree under performing, we are extremely close to fantasy mega-stud Josh Gordon returning from suspension.  Eddeh will have a fuck-you-new-number-one-wide-receiver to put in his roster from the get-go.

He also has two of the top fantasy defenses because why the fuck not?  Philadelphia, once considered to be not even worth a roster spot, has been disgustingly good this season.

If Eddie Lacy could just play the Bears every week, Eddeh would probably be undefeated.

6 - Super Bryant Bros. (5-5)

Week 1 roster:

QB - Jay Cutler

WR - Dez Bryant

WR - Brandin Cooks

WR - Markus Wheaton

RB - Montee Ball

RB - Zac Stacy

TE - Jordan Cameron

Flex - Joique Bell

Flex - Travis Kelce

K - Dan Bailey

DEF - Chicago

BN - Brian Quick

BN - Andre Holmes

BN - Teddy Bridgewater

BN - Ronnie Hillman

BN - Benny Cunningham

BN - Allen Hurns

Current roster:

QB - Tony Romo

WR - Dez Bryant

WR - Brandin Cooks

WR - Martavis Bryant

RB - Denard Robinson

RB - Joique Bell

TE - Travis Kelce

Flex - Shane Vereen

Flex - Jonas Gray

K - Dan Bailey

DEF - Baltimore

BN - Teddy Bridgewater

BN - Andre Holmes

BN - Bryce Brown

BN - Kyle Orton

BN - Patrick Murray

BN - Minnesota

IR - Allen Robinson

IR - Tyler Eifert

Going into the season, Super Bryant Bros. was one of the more organized teams in the league.  Armed with two starting running backs -- one with the potential through the roof -- and both their handcuffs, Matt was not going to get burned by any hiccups.  But then he dropped Benny Cunningham and Ronnie Hillman -- who have been gone on to become very formidable players in fantasy this season while Montee Ball ripped his groin from his leg and threw it in the garbage.

Remember when Zac Stacy was a thing?  Neither does Matt.

Tony Romo is back to try and recreate the magic of two years ago when Matt won the league's championship behind Dez Bryant and Romo's bromance.  At just one game behind the 4th seed, the Bryant Bros. are just as much in this race as anyone else.  Travis Kelce has been a spectacular find due to Jordan Cameron coming down with a chronic case of deadness.  At some point this season, Markus Wheaton evolved into Martavis Bryant and Matt didn't hit the B button to stop it.

Matt is hoping that having a team full of flex-worthy running backs will lead his team to the playoffs.  Except Denard Robinson, he's fucking awesome.

7 - Eeveelution (5-5)

Week 1 roster:

QB - Matt Ryan

WR - A.J. Green

WR. Torrey Smith

WR - Reggie Wayne

RB - Matt Forte

RB - Frank Gore

TE - Jimmy Graham

Flex - Justin Hunter

Flex - Kenny Britt

K - Greg Zuerlein

DEF - Kansas City

BN - Khiry Robinson

BN - Joe Flacco

BN - Garrett Graham

BN - Logan Thomas

BN - Santonio Holmes

BN - Denver

Current roster:

QB - Matt Ryan

WR - A.J. Green

WR - Torrey Smith

WR - Reggie Wayne

RB - Matt Forte

RB - Frank Gore

TE - Jimmy Graham

Flex - Ronnie Hillman

Flex - Justin Hunter

K - Matt Bryant

DEF - Kansas City

BN - Paul Richardson

BN - Juwan Thompson

BN - Khiry Robinson

BN - Jeremy Kerley

BN - Allen Hurns

BN - Denver

Last week was the pivotal game for Eve's Eeveelution.  A win would have put her at 6-4 and the final playoff team in the standings.  Unfortunately she was not able to keep up and has fallen back into the cesspool of mediocrity that is the middle of the standings in this league.  No longer a threat to elitism, Eeveelution is struggling.

What could have been?  Armed with the top pick in the draft and DeMarco Murray and Le'Veon Bell sitting there available -- already equipped with Matt Forte, A.J. Green and Jimmy Graham as keepers -- Eve chose Matt Ryan with the first-overall pick.  Forgoing an embarrassment of riches.  Eve's team could be where Reaper's is right now had she chosen differently.

The team is still talented and by golly, they might actually get healthy with A.J. Green and Jimmy Graham returning from owies.  But Frank Gore and Torrey Smith are hit or miss while Justin Hunter has not taken the leap forward many predicted.

Ronnie Hillman's injury kills this team for me.

8 - Fuck Yeah Seaking! (5-5)

Week 1 roster:

QB - Nick Foles

WR - Julian Edelman

WR - Greg Jennings

WR - Jerricho Cotchery

RB - Alfred Morris

RB - Fred Jackson

TE - Rob Gronkowski

Flex - Ben Tate

Flex - Maurice Jones-Drew

K - Nick Novak

DEF - Houston

BN - Cecil Shorts III

BN - Wes Welker

BN - Kenny Stills

BN - Delanie Walker

BN - Ryan Tannehill

BN - Mark Ingram

Current roster:

QB - Ryan Tannehill

WR - Julian Edelman

WR - Wes Welker

WR - Kenny Stills

RB - Alfred Morris

RB - Mark Ingram

TE - Rob Gronkowski

Flex - Cecil Shorts III

Flex - Fred Jackson

K - Caleb Sturgis

DEF - Green Bay

BN - Delanie Walker

BN - Kenny Britt

BN - Jerricho Cotchery

BN - Daniel Thomas

BN - Nick Foles

BN - Greg Jennings

Ackbar has flirted with being a good team all season.  One week he's putting up disgusting totals that would make any fantasy owner blush, the next you are wondering what the fuck happened?

I love when you look back on rosters and see a formidable player like Fred Jackson go from the second running back on the team to a flex guy, showing that the team has improved.  Mark Ingram has been a beast when healthy this year and if he can stay on the field to end the season, Fuck Yeah Seaking! will make some noise.  Gronk has also stayed healthy this season as well, thus proving Ackbar has a lucky rabbit's foot deep inside a crevice we can't really fathom.

Speaking of health: Nick Foles is gone. Forever. He's not coming back this season.  The Sanchize has taken over Philadelphia, so Ackbar's fantasy hopes ride on the shoulders -- and legs of the spry little -- Ryan Tannehill.  Unfortunately, this team is hindered by the fact that Wes Welker has been high on Molly for the entire season.

This team is the "Fireworks" by Katy Perry of fantasy teams.  There is still hope.

 9 - Let Me See Dat Bush! (5-5)

Week 1 roster:

QB - Phillip Rivers

WR - Keenan Allen

WR - DeSean Jackson

WR - Eric Decker

RB - Giovani Bernard

RB - Reggie Bush

TE - Dennis Pitta

Flex - Danny Woodhead

Flex - Marqise Lee

K - Shayne Graham

DEF - San Francisco

BN - Cam Newton

BN - Jordan Matthews

BN - Miles Austin

BN - Ahmad Bradshaw

BN - Chris Polk

BN - Matt Prater

Current roster:

QB - Phillip Rivers

WR - DeSean Jackson

WR - Keenan Allen

WR - Eric Decker

RB - Gio Bernard

RB - Ahmad Bradshaw

TE - Jared Cook

Flex - Reggie Bush

Flex - Jordan Matthews

K - Steven Hauschka

DEF - Miami

BN - Rueben Randle

BN - Miles Austin

BN - Cam Newton

BN - Garrett Graham

BN - Knile Davis

BN - San Francisco

IR - Danny Woodhead

I had such a raging hard-on for this team when I wrote my predictions piece back in August and I still got a chub when I wrote out the week 1 roster.  But then EVERYBODY DIED.

Gio Bernard.  Gone forever.  Probably.

Danny Woodhead.  Literally never heard from again.

Dennis Pitta.  His hip don't lie and probably is in a wheel chair somewhere.

Reggie Bush.  Perpetually in a state of injured.

Not to mention Keenan Allen and Cam Newton got arrested for murdering this team.

There have been golden pickups on this roster.  Ahmad Bradshaw, Gio Bernard and then Reggie Bush in the flex?  How sexy would that be?  Instead, Maggie is left shuffling her lineup imagining a world that might have been.

Dynasty-wise, she's still fine.  Jordan Matthews has really shown a lot of talent in Philadelphia while Bernard, Allen and Newton can't all be as bad next year as they are this year.  Ri...right?

10 - The Studly Studs (4-6)

Week 1 roster:

QB - Colin Kaepernick

WR - Brandon Marshall

WR - Terrance Williams

WR - Mike Evans

RB - LeSean McCoy

RB - Le'Veon Bell

TE - Kyle Rudolph

Flex - Shane Vereen

Flex - Cody Latimer

K - Justin Tucker

DEF - Carolina

BN - Johnny Manziel

BN - Lance Dunbar

BN - Eric Ebron

BN - Devonta Freeman

BN - Davante Adams

BN - John Brown

Current roster:

QB - Andrew Luck

WR - Antonio Brown

WR - Jordy Nelson

WR - Emmanuel Sanders

RB - Le'Veon Bell

RB - C.J. Anderson

TE - Greg Olsen

Flex - DeAndre Hopkins

Flex - Bishop Sankey

K - Justin Tucker

DEF - Seattle

BN - Steven Jackson

BN - Ryan Mallett

BN - Montee Ball

BN - Carlos Hyde

BN - LaMichael James

BN - Graham Gano

IR - Marvin Jones

The defending champion and two-time champion overall, Studly Studs began this season in disastrous fashion -- losing every single game until who knows when.  The roster was full of under-achieving ne'er-do-wells.

Then I, Michael Ryne, did a trade.  Then another...and another.  And now you have this before you.  It all may be too little too late at this point in this season, but nobody wants to face this buzzsaw with their sights on the most improbable attempt at a playoff run in league history.

Even if this team doesn't do anything for the rest of the season, this demonic plague of dynasty goodness will arguably be the most intimidating team going into next season.  It will be a genuine chore to pick seven keepers next year.

I hope, for the sake of our league, my team does not wind up making the playoffs after the piss-poor start it had.  No one will hear the end of it.

11 - Weed/Child Abuse FTW (4-6)

Week 1 roster:

QB - Andrew Luck

WR - Jeremy Maclin

WR - Michael Floyd

WR - Hakeem Nicks

RB - Ryan Mathews

RB - Shonn Greene

TE - Greg Olsen

Flex - DeAndre Hopkins

Flex - Carlos Hyde

K - Stephen Gostowski

DEF - St. Louis

BN - Jonathan Dwyer

BN - Andre Ellington

BN - Odell Beckham Jr.

BN - Donald Brown

BN - Robert Woods

BN - Zach Miller

IR - Charles Sims

Current roster:

QB - Jay Cutler

WR - Calvin Johnson

WR - Jeremy Maclin

WR - Andre Johnson

RB - Andre Ellington

RB - Pierre Thomas

TE - Antonio Gates

Flex - James Jones

Flex - Michael Floyd

K - Stephen Gostowski

DEF - Buffalo

BN - Jordan Cameron

BN - Harry Douglas

BN - Stevie Johnson

BN - Marion Grice

BN - Owen Daniels

BN - Travaris Cadet

IR - Marcedes Lewis

IR - Rod Streater

One of the league's most active managers, Jerry has revamped Weed/Child Abuse FTW more times than we can count at this point.  Seemingly never satisfied with his roster, he continues to search for trades and moves he can make to improve his roster.  Until he inevitably gets sick of his players again in a week and tries to trade them again.

Currently, the team has an impressive amount of depth with projections near the top of the league.  Getting Michael Floyd and James Jones out of WR slots and into flexes is great as it allows him to employ three very-good-to-great receivers.  Buying low on Calvin Johnson could mean the difference between a last quarter of the season being meaningless and fighting for that elusive final playoff spot.

Trading Andrew Luck will likely go down as one of the bigger blunders of the season, though, I guess if you are going to get rid of the future of the NFL, you might as well get Megatron and Andre Ellington.  The former being arguably the most underrated player in fantasy this season.

#CuttyDoesntDoesIt

12 - Claire It Out (4-6)

Week 1 roster:

QB - Tom Brady

WR - Larry Fitzgerald

WR - Cordarrelle Patterson

WR - Mike Williams

RB - Doug Martin

RB - Bernard Pierce

TE - Charles Clay

Flex - Darren McFadden

Flex - Andre Williams

K - Robbie Gould

DEF - Oakland

BN - Tyler Eifert

BN - Marvin Jones

BN - Ray Rice

BN - Theo Riddick

BN - James Starks
BN - Baltimore

Current roster:

QB - Tom Brady

WR - Mike Evans

WR - Brandon LaFell

WR - Kendall Wright

RB - Ben Tate

RB - Darren McFadden

TE - Kyle Rudolph

Flex - Terrance West

Flex - John Brown

K - Phil Dawson

DEF - Detroit

BN - Andre Willims

BN - Clay Harbor

BN - Ben Roethlisberger

BN - Devonta Freeman

BN - Mark Sanchez

BN - Cody Latimer

Claire's team is...it's...it's not that bad.  I am honestly proud of the job she has done to acquire young talent like Mike Evans, John Brown and Terrance West all while still employing the dad at the top in Tom Brady.

Her running back depth this year afforded her the opportunity to make several trades to better her squad as she actually has a real shot at flirting with a .500 record this season -- possibly the first time she would finish over .500 in ANY league we have had as a group in any sport.

Her team will not be flirting with any playoffs this year, but allow me to applaud the job Claire has done.  There are several key dynasty players on this roster, including arguably the best dynasty wide receiver a team can have in Evans.

Still though, in very Claire fashion, her team still has three quarterbacks for whatever reason.  Banking on the Mark Sanchez resurrecting his career and leading her into the future and beyond.  Probably.

13 - unmanned team #1 (3-7)

Week 1 roster:

QB - Tony Romo

WR - Antonio Brown

WR - Jordy Nelson

WR - Mike Wallace

RB - C.J. Spiller

RB - Toby Gerhart

TE - Heath Miller

Flex - Trent Richardson

Flex - Rueben Randle

K - Blair Walsh

DEF - New Orleans

BN - Ladarius Green

BN - Dwayne Bowe

BN - Eli Manning

BN - Tre Mason

BN - Jace Amaro

BN - Doug Baldwin

Current roster:

QB - Robert Griffin III

WR - Mike Wallace

WR - Dwayne Bowe

WR - Cordarrelle Patterson

RB - Trent Richardson

RB - Matt Asiata

TE - Heath Miller

Flex - Jonathan Stewart

Flex - Benny Cunningham

K - Blair Walsh

DEF - Cleveland

BN - Davante Adams

BN - Latavius Murray

BN - Marqise Lee

BN - Johnny Manziel

BN - Zach Mettenberger

BN - Preston Parker

IR - Victor Cruz

IR - C.J. Spiller

IR - Stevan Ridley

Shockingly, employing the running back duo of C.J. Spiller and Toby Gerhart to begin the season did not work out.  And even more shockingly, trading away Jordy Nelson and Antonio Brown to the same team also has not helped the situation.

This team could be somewhat acceptable if Trent Richardson had replaced Gerhart in the lineup and whichever owner had it at the time traded someone a little less valuable for a second running back.  Hell, Benny Cunningham as your RB2 would look better than trading away one of two superstar wide receivers.

Regardless, this team has had two managers this season as Ahmed was tasked with cleaning up the mess Frankie left behind.  If anyone can turn around this putrid excuse for a team, it's that maniac borderline obsessive-compulsive fantasy deity.

14 - #getrekt (2-8)

Week 1 roster:

QB - Robert Griffin III

WR - Calvin Johnson

WR - Vincent Jackson

WR - Andre Johnson

RB - Adrian Peterson

RB - Lamar Miller

TE - Zach Ertz

Flex - Jarrett Boykin

Flex - Malcom Floyd

K - Mason Crosby

DEF - Cleveland

BN - Terrance West

BN - James White

BN - Austin Seferian-Jenkins

BN - Alex Smith

BN - Jonathan Stewart

BN - Andre Caldwell

Current roster:

QB - Colin Kaepernick

WR - Brandon Marshall

WR - Vincent Jackson

WR - Malcom Floyd

RB - LeSean McCoy

RB - Lamar Miller

TE - Zach Ertz

Flex - Vernon Davis

Flex - Charles Sims

K - Mason Crosby

DEF - Pittsburgh

BN - Markus Wheaton

BN - Jace Amaro

BN - Boobie Dixon

BN - Christine Michael

BN - Adrian Peterson

BN - San Diego

What a difference a year makes, huh?  A season ago, #getrekt was a top team in the league destroying peons with their Calvin Johnson/Adrian Peterson full-on demolition tandem of annihilation.  Then AP hit his kid and Megatron sat out for a month.

Now Megatron has been traded and AP is still indefinitely gone.  And with fantasy bust LeSean McCoy leading the way, Parker will hope for major bounce-back years next season along with Brandon Marshall.  Some decent dynasty pieces in Charles Sims, Jace Amaro and Christine Michael are also worth keeping as well.

This team is a prime example of how fickle a bitch fantasy football is and why we should all just give up and do something that doesn't drive us crazy.  That being said, I'll see you next year, Parker.

---

I want to pick Reaper's Funhouse to win the championship but he has burned me before so I assume Simply Beastly will take it all while the top three teams stay the same.  Tag Team Ass Factory will grab the 4th seed because I care about all of you and don't want to brag about that amazing comeback my crap-ass team made and embarrassed you all.

2014 Awesomeness Abounds Predictions

There has never been a more important draft in the history of Awesomeness Abounds.  Two years ago, each team was allowed to keep one player and this year everyone was allowed to keep three players.  This grandfathers in next year's dynasty rule being applied and a staggering nine players from each team will be kept.  This draft alone has not only set lineups for the coming NFL season but also for years to come in Awesomeness Abounds.

All draft grades are out of five stars

The Studly Studs

QB - Colin Kaepernick - Really great choice to be the QB2 on your team.  Wait, he's your starter? Oh. You traded Rob Gronkowski for him? Oh. Oh.

WR - Brandon Marshall - One of the best PPR WR a team can have.  Dynasty-wise, he's only got a couple years left in him, but he's a bonafide fantasy stud.

WR - Terrance Williams - What a difference just one spot makes.  As a WR3, I'd love this, but at WR2, it becomes an extremely risky play.  Though Dallas has a high-octane offense and QB Tony Romo always spreads the love around.

WR - Mike Evans - Rookie WR always have issues producing and Mike Evans will have his share of clunkers this year.  Spectacular dynasty pick, but there will be growing pains.

RB - LeSean McCoy - Up there in the discussion for best fantasy football commodity.  His ability to catch the ball and dynamic running ability are invaluable in the fantasy world.

RB - Le'Veon Bell - Almost like diet LeSean McCoy.  He was a keeper candidate and gladly scooped up by the defending champions.  With nine keepers next year, barring a major injury, Bell will be a Studly Stud for years to come.

TE - Kyle Rudolph - Coach Norv Turner was in Cleveland last year and his system helped make rookie TE Jordan Cameron a must-start fantasy TE.  Turner spearheaded the career of TE Antonio Gates in San Diego before that.  Now the tight-end guru is in Minnesota and that could mean very nice things for Kyle Rudolph.

W/R/T - Shane Vereen - Really sexy pick at the first flex spot.  Being one of the few pieces in New England's offense QB Tom Brady really trusts, Shane Vereen will have sneaky high-end RB2 PPR value for the Patriots.  If he can stay healthy.

W/R/T - Eric Ebron - Likely a year early on TE Eric Ebron, The Studly Studs will have to hope the growing pains are minimal for Ebron.  There are two other formidable TE already in Detroit, so Ebron's value is shaky in his first year.  Great dynasty pick, though.

BN - RB - Lance Dunbar - Massive high-risk-high-reward player here.  Some reports out of Dallas suggested that the Cowboys would use him similarly to a Reggie Bush-type back in the system.  If that were the case, his value would sky-rocket in PPR.  Then again, he's more likely to simply be DeMarco Murray's back-up and nothing more.

BN - QB - Johnny Manziel - Someone was going to do it, and the team dubbed "Studly Studs" were fittingly the one to give "Money" Manziel his fantasy home.  He has "bust" written all over him, but this dynamic rookie QB was just too sexy to pass up for Michael Ryne.

BN - RB - Devonta Freeman - Another case of a player likely with more value a year from now than today.  RB Steven Jackson is still chugging along in Atlanta (sort of) and RB Jacquizz Rodgers remains as the passing back for the Falcons.  Still, Freeman is the most talented of the trio and should see a decent amount of playing time for the Falcons in his rookie year.

BN - WR - Davante Adams - Another rookie, are we sensing a trend here?  He is buried in the talented WR depth chart of the Green Bay Packers, but should WR Jarrett Boykin falter whatsoever or any sort of injury hits him, Jordy Nelson or Randall Cobb, then Adams becomes a massive potential steal.

BN - WR - Robert Woods - I'd be shocked if this guy was still on this team come October.  He is supposedly a starter in Buffalo, but if there is any WR worth owning on the Bills, it's Sammy Watkins.

BN - WR - Cody Latimer - The epitome of a dynasty pick, though for Cody Latimer to ever reach maximum fantasy potential, he would need to net playing time while QB Peyton Manning is still there.  That is not a guarantee.

K - Justin Tucker - Pretty solid choice to be a top-five fantasy kicker.  He has potential for monster games and is a steady contributor.

DEF - Carolina - It is invaluable to have a fantasy defense that you can simply play week after week without worry.  Carolina became that last year and will be another elite defense this year.

Draft Grade - ***1/2

#1 Soccer Team

QB - Russell Wilson - He is a low-end QB1, but those rushing yards pile up quickly and the offense of Seattle has a steady flow for their game-plan.

WR - Alshon Jeffery - Last year he went nuts and became a disgustingly valuable WR with WR1 numbers after being drafted as a WR4 on someone's bench.  Now he's being entrusted as the WR1 for Eddeh's team and should flourish even more with QB Jay Cutler at the helm for Chicago presumably for a full season this time.

WR - Percy Harvin - One of the more injury-prone WR in football, but when he's healthy, he is as dynamic as they come.  With his ability to run the ball, catch it and return it on special teams, Harvin has the potential to kaboom every Sunday in fantasy.  Worth the risk.

WR - Golden Tate - A nice possession wide receiver who will pile up the reception points for Eddeh.  The touchdowns will be few and far between, I think, but he'll average close to 10 fantasy points a game.

RB - Eddie Lacy - Arguably the most valuable keeper player available to a team.  He is the next Marshawn Lynch and will be on Eddeh's team for the foreseeable future.

RB - Stevan Ridley - As good as Lacy is, Ridley is as risky as you can get at RB2.  He's more of a flex guy in my eyes, though Shane Vereen catches all the balls out of the running back position for the Patriots while butterfingers Ridley is one pivotal fumble away from losing carries to rookie James White.

TE - Julius Thomas - He was likely considered as a potential keeper, but alas he is with Eddeh now.  This is the next Jimmy Graham.

W/R/T - Vernon Davis - A TE at your flex spot is a shrewd move.  Trying to plug in RB/WR not at the top of their teams' depth charts is always a risky play.  Throwing a top-tier TE in Vernon Davis makes things a lot easier.

W/R/T - Antonio Gates - Remember everything I just said about Vernon Davis?  That does not apply to Antonio Gates.  A future Hall of Famer on the back-end of his career, Gates will give way to Ladarius Green this year and is more of a bench TE2 rather than a flex starter.

BN - WR - Anquan Boldin - Another year older and unlike last year, Boldin is not the number-one WR in San Francisco.  That is Michael Crabtree's job.  And with TE Vernon Davis still going and a running game to adhere to, Boldin may be more of a flex or bench WR at this point, which is likely where Eddeh will place him.

BN - RB - Jeremy Hill - Really solid dynasty pick.  With RB Gio Bernard in Cincinnati, Jeremy Hill will always have a ceiling on his abilities going forward, but he could carve out a nice career as the literal heir apparent to BenJarvus Green-Ellis.

BN - WR - Josh Gordon - Barring some miraculous decision coming through in the next few weeks, Josh Gordon will miss the entire season due to suspension.  He's a hugely risky player going forward, but when he is actually allowed to play football, there are few better at WR.  Great dynasty pick, if Eddeh can afford to sit on him for a full year.

BN - QB - Ben Roethlisberger - Criminally underrated in the fantasy world, Big Ben puts up QB1 numbers a lot of the time.  Should Russell Wilson falter at any point, then Roethlisberger will be an easy plug-in play.

BN - WR - Marlon Brown - The Rotoworld blurb on Marlon Brown going into this draft stated that if you are in a dynasty league, this is the year to draft Brown.  Eddeh took heed and now has a very solid WR with good dynasty potential going forward.

BN - QB - Brock Osweiler - Peyton Manning likely has another two years left him, so it will be interesting to see just how long Eddeh holds on to this unknown commodity in Denver.  The potential is there, but Osweiler is a mystery.

K - (Empty) - He had Brandon McManus originally drafted, but then dropped him within minutes of the draft ending.  Eddeh got retweeted by McManus on Twitter when he tweeted him bragging about the pick.  Awkward.

DEF - Philadelphia - I give it less than a month before Eddeh is scrambling for a fantasy defense.

Draft Grade - ***

#getrekt

QB - Robert Griffin III - Parker's infatuation with this dynamic QB is evident with her desire to keep him over TE Julius Thomas and WR Jordy Nelson.  When he's healthy, RGIII can put up gaudy fantasy numbers, though he has dealt with injury woes both years of his career.  This is a make-or-break year for RGIII in terms of fantasy to prove he is a reliable QB1.

WR - Calvin Johnson - It's fucking Megatron.

WR - Vincent Jackson - Really solid complement to Calvin Johnson as a WR2.  He'll haul in a number of deep bombs from Josh McCown this year and should spark boatloads of fantasy points.

WR - Andre Johnson - As a third receiver on a fantasy team, this is golden.  He will be a PPR monster who is just some touchdowns away from being an elite receiver.

RB - Adrian Peterson - Injury prone as all hell and now two years removed from his monster 2,000-yard season, AP is still an elite fantasy talent, but he can't carry a squad like he used to.

RB - Lamar Miller - Good Lord, this is risky.  Lamar Miller as a flex?  Ok, you can twist my arm and make me do it, though I will be nervous.  Lamar Miller as my RB2?  Yikes.  I don't like it.

TE - Zach Ertz - Parker went top-heavy at WR and paid for it with her lower-end lineup guys.  Ertz has nice potential, but he is still hardly a TE1-worthy guy.

W/R/T - Terrance West - I love this pick.  RB Ben Tate is the so-called starter in Cleveland right now, but rookie Terrance West has all the tools to steal the job.  Cleveland projects to be one of the more run-heavy offenses in the NFL and before long, West may be Parker's RB2 rather than Lamar Miller.

W/R/T - Jarrett Boykin - Good PPR pick.  As a starting WR in Green Bay, anyone who has QB Aaron Rodgers tossing them balls has good fantasy value.

BN - RB - James White - Give Parker credit, she attempted to cover her ass at RB2 with the drafting of the aforementioned West and rookie James White.  Stevan Ridley fell out of favor in New England and James White is already get hyped in training camp.

BN - TE - Austin Seferian-Jenkins - Like Eric Ebron in Detroit, Austin Seferian-Jenkins is probably a year away from fantasy value, but Parker is trying to get her Julius Thomas 2.0.

BN - TE - Dwayne Allen - Really good pick here for her team.  Ertz is not a proven player while Seferian-Jenkins is a prospect.  Dwayne Allen gives Parker some insurance.

BN - QB - Alex Smith - He had some gaudy fantasy games last year.  His running always gives him respectable numbers each week with the consistent TD pass to Jamaal Charles.  Decent back-up.

BN - RB - Jonathan Stewart - Nothing more than a familiar name, Jonathan Stewart has next-to-no fantasy value.

BN - WR - Malcom Floyd - After an injury-plagued year last season, Floyd is attempting to play his way back into a starting role with San Diego.  It shouldn't be too hard with the likes of Eddie Royal and Vincent Brown in the way, but regardless, the Chargers are running the ball if it isn't going to Keenan Allen.

K - Mason Crosby - Pretty solid fantasy kicker.  It seems as though he has put the disastrous season he had two years ago behind him.

DEF - Cleveland - Really banking on an unproven defense with a little hype with this pick.  Probably going to need to stream some other defenses as the season progresses.

Draft Grade - ***1/2

BLOWN THE FUCK OUT

QB - Aaron Rodgers - I like Rodgers better than Peyton Manning.

WR - Demaryius Thomas - Really good move by Olivia to nab a legitimate WR1 for her team.  Thomas looks like he will be a top-5 WR in fantasy this year and could mean the difference between consolation and playoffs for Olivia.

WR - Randall Cobb - When healthy, Cobb is Aaron Rodgers' favorite target, even more so than Jordy Nelson.  A PPR stud, Cobb will have WR1 numbers in Olivia's WR2 spot.

WR - Kendall Wright - Spectacular PPR pick here.  Wright will have a butt-load of receptions as per usual as his value has never been higher in our leagues.

RB - Bishop Sankey - Yikes.  I don't mind Sankey, but as a RB1, this is beyond risky.

RB - Chris Johnson - She somehow made Sankey at RB1 look better by entrusting her RB2 duties to this inconsistent frustration machine.

TE - Jordan Reed - Concussion prone, but Jordan Reed has the ability to be a high-end TE1 when healthy.

W/R/T - Darren Sproles - God, I love this pick.  PPR is such a game-changer and Darren Sproles has renewed fantasy value now.

W/R/T - Danny Amendola - Amendola was doing so good in that one game before he got hurt on the Patriots last year.  After that, meh.  I'd be shocked if he plays more than seven games.

BN - WR - James Jones - Sneaky good value here.  He is a decent touchdown magnet and will arguably be the top receiver in Oakland this year.

BN - RB - Christine Michael - Spectacular dynasty pick.  He may not provide much this year, but Christine Michael may very well be the starting RB on the Seattle Seahawks a year from now.

BN - QB - Blake Bortles - Like Christine Michael, Blake Bortles holds value a year from now.  Olivia really took the dynasty aspect to heart and did so well.

BN - TE - Richard Rodgers - With Aaron Rodgers on her team, Richard Rodgers as a back-up TE and a nice dynasty pick made perfect sense for BLOWN THE FUCK OUT.

BN - QB - Tom Savage - Apparently looking for a monopoly on young QB, Olivia stockpiled them in hopes of striking gold with one of them.

K - Steven Hauschka - He was one of the top fantasy kickers last year and it is comforting to know you can leave a guy in every week until his bye without worry.

DEF - Arizona - One of the better fantasy defenses a manager can have.  They could be this year's Kansas City.

BN - DEF - Buffalo - In a league where several managers are taking risks on unproven defenses, if Buffalo has a decent week or two, Olivia could flip them for decent value.

Draft Grade - ***1/2

Claire It Out

QB - Tom Brady - Despite rumors circulating that she would not keep Tom Brady, Claire could not pass up the future Hall of Famer.  He should be better than last year, which should not be too difficult.

WR - Larry Fitzgerald - His value has seemingly dwindled every year for the past few seasons and it stands at an all-time low.  He is still a solid fantasy contributor, but not as a WR1.

WR - Marvin Jones - A dynasty keeper if I've ever seen one.  He won't consistently put up big numbers, but Marvin Jones should put up enough fantasy points to warrant a starting WR spot.

WR - Cordarrelle Patterson - One of the best dynasty players in the draft, he could very well be a high-end WR2 a year from now while contributing this season as well.

RB - Doug Martin - A revelation his rookie year two seasons ago, Doug Martin suffered through a tragic sophomore campaign.  He is nothing more than a question mark now and hardly a RB1.

RB - Bernard Pierce - A necessary pick for Claire, Bernard Pierce is not someone I would have wanted on my team, he did not show much last year when given a chance.  Claire's running backs are an issue.

TE - Tyler Eifert - This dude is basically Zach Ertz.  He has some nice talent, but he is hardly a TE1.

W/R/T - Andre Williams - Claire being the Giants fan she is, Andre Williams makes perfect sense.  As a flex guy, I am wary, but he could provide some Mike Tolbert-esque production as a goal-line vulture.  He will probably be the Giants' starting RB next season.

W/R/T - Charles Clay - Another TE in a flex spot, and I like it.  Clay sees a lot of targets from QB Ryan Tannehill.

BN - RB - Ray Rice - Someone was going to take this woman beater, unfortunately it was Claire.

BN - RB - Darren McFadden - Oakland's running game was one I did not want to touch.  Claire is going to get grey hairs thanks to her running backs this season.

BN - RB - Theo Riddick - It really says something when Theo Riddick elicits the most positive reaction out of me for RB on a team.  He has some potential PPR value.  Though this will likely be the typical fantasy player who has a good game once every few weeks and the owner puts him in for the week-after clunker.

BN - RB - Knile Davis - Man, if Jamaal Charles gets hurt, this is a great pick.  As it stands, I don't even like Knile Davis in a dynasty league.

BN - WR - Mike Williams - Hey, he started for Buffalo in this past Sunday's preseason game.  I guess that's something.

K - Robbie Gould - Robbie Gould is actually a pretty ok fantasy kicker, you could do a lot worse.

DEF - Oakland - Sneaky sleeper defense here.  I like it.

BN - DEF - Baltimore - Nice job to have a second defense just in case Oakland falters.

Draft Grade - **

Eeveelution

QB - Matt Ryan - She shocked the league when she drafted Matty Ice over the likes of Le'Veon Bell and DeMarco Murray.  This is her franchise QB and her fantasy hopes for years to come rest on his shoulders.

WR - A.J. Green - One of the best WR in football, he is still young and has not even reached his peak yet.

WR - Torrey Smith - Great deep threat, if he could just get a few more short-yardage catches to bolster his stats then Smith could be a low-end WR1.

WR - Reggie Wayne - Coming off a terrible ACL tear, Reggie Wayne is now deep into his 30s and only has maybe two years left.  Evie is trying to win now with Wayne as her WR3.

RB - Matt Forte - Disgustingly good fantasy RB.  He does it all on a great Chicago offense, he can carry the load for a team.

RB - Frank Gore - God, this would have looked so much better with DeMarco Murray here.  Gore is decent, but nobody wanted to be the owner who drafted him.  He'll be lucky to hold off rookie Carlos Hyde this year.

TE - Jimmy Graham - Far and away the best fantasy TE and will be for the next decade.

W/R/T - Justin Hunter - Some reports out of Tennessee are saying Hunter is the Titans' "Randy Moss."  Outrageous comparisons aside, Hunter is going to break out this year.

W/R/T - Khiry Robinson - Really banking on New Orleans using Robinson in the Darren Sproles role this year.  If they don't, Robinson is useless.

BN - WR - Kenny Britt - The injury-prone headache with personal issues is now a top WR in St. Louis.  Good value here as Evie takes a flier on a guy who could be a high-end WR3.

BN - QB - Joe Flacco - I guess if you have to have a back-up, you could do worse than Joe Flacco.

BN - TE - Garrett Graham - A very nice pick-up late in the draft, Graham could play decently enough to earn a few flex starts throughout the season.

BN - RB - Shonn Greene - Evie can call up Olivia and see if she wants Bishop Sankey's handcuff.  Otherwise, there is no reason for Evie to have him.

BN - QB - Logan Thomas - Owners seemed to love the rookie QB this draft.  Logan Thomas is well off the radar, but Carson Palmer won't be in Arizona (or the NFL) much longer.

K - Greg Zuerlein - He isn't the most consistent fantasy contributor, but he has a booming leg with a lot of potential.

DEF - Kansas City - They broke out last year and were one of the top fantasy defenses.  I'm wary of them this time around, but defense can often be a crap shoot.

BN - DEF - Denver - Peculiar pick here, Denver is pretty solid for fantasy and if Kansas City proves themselves to be for real, Evie has some real trade value here.

Draft Grade - **1/2

Fat Jesus' Disciples

QB - Jay Cutler - Matt is no stranger to fantasy risks.  One of the more bold managers in the league, the former champion is relying on an injury-prone and fantasy inconsistent QB to lead the way and replace Tony Romo on his squad.  #CuttyDoesIt could be a top-10 fantasy QB this year if he plays 16 games.

WR - Dez Bryant - He is closer to Calvin Johnson's level than people realize.  And just now finishing up his rookie contract.  Yikes.

WR - Brandin Cooks - Getting massive hype out of New Orleans, Cooks is a playmaker with all the opportunity in the world with the Saints' dynamic offense.  I like him as a WR3 or flex player.  I think we are a year or two early on WR2 value.

WR - Markus Wheaton - Matt is banking on having Emmanuel Sanders all over again with Wheaton as his WR3.  Like Cooks, I think Matt is a year or two early here.

RB - Zac Stacy - All that hogwash about Stacy losing carries to rookie RB Tre Mason is out the window.  Stacy is a steady RB1 and will be a keeper for Matthew going forward.

RB - Montee Ball - Another great keep by Matt.  If Ball can hold on to his namesake, then he will be a fantasy monster in Denver's disgusting offense.  Matt has two RB1 on his team.

TE - Jordan Cameron - He was great for the first half of last year.  Some injuries and inconsistency slowed him down in the second half, but he is easily a top-10 fantasy TE and great dynasty player.

W/R/T - Joique Bell - The ideal flex player, Bell will have nearly as many fantasy points as Reggie Bush.

W/R/T - Andre Brown - The RB situation in Houston is still not settled.  Rumor has it that Arian Foster will be more of a Danny Woodhead-type back for the Texans while Andre Brown runs the ball ala Ryan Mathews.  If that is the case, Andre Brown would be a great flex play.  If not, he's basically worthless until Arian Foster inevitably gets hurt.

BN - QB - Teddy Bridgewater - Probably the safest rookie QB to draft for this year and beyond.  Bridgewater has a real chance to be a starter week one.

BN - WR - Andre Holmes - He torched Matthew's Cowboys last year on Thanksgiving and now is a real nice sleeper WR.

BN - TE - Brandon Bostick - He's likely Green Bay's starting TE, though by the time Matt needs to play him, I assume he will have already lost the job.

BN - RB - Ronnie Hillman - Literally the only reason Matt drafted him is because Montee Ball is on this team.  A few good games out of Ball and Hillman will be on the waiver wire.

BN - WR - Cole Beasley - I'm convinced Matt made this league PPR just so he could justify drafting Cole Beasley.

BN - WR - Jarius Wright - Matt has a good eye for talent, though I think Wright will be this year's Vincent Brown where Matt will simply drop him eventually.  At least he didn't trade Jordan Cameron to get him.

K - Dan Bailey - One of the best fantasy kickers and nobody seems to know this.

DEF - Chicago - Matt is trusting Chicago defense yet again after a disastrous year last season.  I don't think they will be all that much better.

Draft Grade - ***

Fuck Yeah Seaking!

QB - Nick Foles - Really banking on a repeat of last year's meteoric rise in fantasy with Nick Foles.  I think Foles puts up better numbers than Colin Kaepernick, who was Ackbar's QB a season ago.  This is an upgrade.

WR - Wes Welker - This is probably the last year for Wes Welker to be a reliable low-end WR1/high-end WR2 so Ackbar is going for it this year.

WR - Julian Edelman - He is basicaly Wes Welker.  Ackbar has two Wes Welkers.  That isn't a bad thing.

WR - Kenny Stills - A surprising keeper, Stills has great fantasy potential as a deep threat for QB Drew Brees.

RB - Alfred Morris - Reports out of D.C. are saying Morris is surprising the coaching staff with his ability to catch the ball out of the back-field.  I think he is undervalued going into this year.

RB - Ben Tate - I hate this pick.  I don't think Ben Tate will be starting for Cleveland once October hits.

TE - Rob Gronkowski - All it takes for Gronk to be an elite fantasy player is some durability, which is a lot to ask for from Gronk.

W/R/T - Fred Jackson - Jeggerd enjoyed a dominant regular season last year with Fred Jackson in his flex spot.  We could have a repeat season for Ackbar now.

W/R/T - Cecil Shorts III - The injury woes helped cause Shorts III to fall in the draft.  If he can break camp healthy and stay on the field, he has WR2 value in Ackbar's second flex spot.

BN - RB - Maurice Jones-Drew - He wasn't good as the only RB in Jacksonville.  Now he has Darren McFadden in a crowded back-field in Oakland.  He simply is not a RB you can comfortably start.

BN - TE - Delanie Walker - If you are going to have an injury-prone TE, then someone like Delanie Walker is essential.  Great pick.

BN - WR - Greg Jennings - His value has dropped every year since leaving Aaron Rodgers and Green Bay and I can't ever see a scenario in which someone would be excited to start Greg Jennings.

BN - QB - Ryan Tannehill - A decent back-up who still has room to grow and a long leash in Miami.

BN - RB - Mark Ingram - Likely in his last season in New Orleans, Ingram has one last chance to prove he can play in the NFL.  I don't see him worth owning.

BN - WR - Jerricho Cotchery - Some sort of veteran WR will need to step up in Carolina, I would assume it will be Cotchery.  Good pick at the end of the draft.

K - Nick Novak - He won't put up big numbers, but it will be enough to keep him starting each week.

DEF - Houston - They have J.J. Watt and Jadeveon Clowney as the two monsters on the defensive line.  If LB Brian Cushing can return to form after that brutal ACL tear last year, Houston will return to the upper-tier of fantasy defenses.

Draft Grade - ***

Romosexual Tendency

QB - Tony Romo - He is an elite fantasy QB with injury issues.  He has been a QB on a championship-winning fantasy team in the past and a pretty solid keeper selection by Frankie.

WR - Antonio Brown - Arguably one of the best PPR WR a team can have and still very young.  Great dynasty player.

WR - Jordy Nelson - A WR1 in someone's WR2 spot.  Can't go wrong there.

WR - Mike Wallace - Someone is going to take a chance on the supposed deep threat, but Mike Wallace and Ryan Tannehill have little-to-no chemistry.

RB - C.J. Spiller - Hey, C.J. Spiller as a RB2 or flex is fucking awesome.  RB1?  Not so much.

RB - Toby Gerhart - He already has injury issues and the Jaguars haven't even played a preseason game yet.  I see this lingering all season and hindering his ability to be a solid week-to-week fantasy contributor.  Frank may need to join Claire's RB-woes support group.

TE - Ladarius Green - Really hoping Green can step up and be a starting TE in not only the NFL, but fantasy as well.  I'm thinking we are a year away from Green reaching his max potential, but he should put up enough to warrant a starting spot.

W/R/T - Trent Richardson - All of Frank's RB issues can be softened should T-Rich go back to how he played his rookie year when he marched into the endzone every single game.  If not, Frank is in even deeper trouble.

W/R/T - Dwayne Bowe - I actually sort of love Bowe as a flex player.

BN - WR - Rueben Randle - A touchdown machine in New York, Frank's issues are not with WR.

BN - QB - Eli Manning - Josh McCown was rated higher by Yahoo at QB than Eli Manning.

BN - RB - Tre Mason - Of all the rookie offensive weapons to draft, Tre Mason was the one I thought had the least value.  Zac Stacy isn't going anywhere any time soon.

BN - WR - Doug Baldwin - Could be a decent PPR streaming WR for bye weeks.

BN - TE - Heath Miller - He's a red-zone machine but won't do much other than score a TD every few weeks while catching less than 40 yards.

K - Blair Walsh - Wildy inconsistent last year early on with minimal opportunity, Walsh is still an above-average fantasy kicker.

DEF - New Orleans - I would like this a lot better if Frank had a back-up.

Draft Grade - **

I Love Claire.

QB - Andrew Luck - The primary dynasty QB keeper, Andrew Luck is on the brink of stardom in the NFL and fantasy world.

WR - Jeremy Maclin - A solid contributor when healthy, if Maclin can string together a full season or close to it, he has WR2 value.

WR - Michael Floyd - This guy will make or break Jerry's team.  Floyd is expected to have a monumental surge this year in fantasy.  If he does, Jerry will have the WR1 he is now missing after trading Demaryius Thomas.

WR - Hakeem Nicks - He won't score any TD, but Nicks is a decent possession WR worth playing in PPR leagues.

RB - Andre Ellington - I love Ellington as a RB2, but RB1 is a risky proposition.  His back-ups are garbage, so he'll have a long leash to solidify himself.

RB - Ryan Mathews - He is basically the Hakeem Nicks of running backs.

TE - Greg Olsen - Great TE and most likely to be Cam Newton's number-one target in Carolina.

W/R/T - DeAndre Hopkins - Really solid WR and great dynasty player.  Will likely overtake Hakeem Nicks as Jerry's WR3.

W/R/T - Carlos Hyde - The perfect insurance policy for two risky starting RB on Jerry's team.  Hyde is a year away from reaching his true potential, but still has decent value for this season.

BN - RB - Charles Sims - Should Doug Martin go down, rookie Charles Sims will see a big plus in value.  He could carve out a role as a yards-eater in Tampa this year.

BN - RB - Stepfan Taylor - A necessary pick for Jerry as he employs Andre Ellington to start, Taylor has no value to anybody else.

BN - WR - Odell Beckham Jr. - Likely a year away from really being a name to look out for, Beckham stands as a very good dynasty stash.

K - Stephen Gostkowski - A reliable fantasy kicking stud, Jerry won't have to worry about a kicker until the Patriots' bye week.

DEF - St. Louis - A really deep defensive squad, St. Louis is a safe enough defense to play every week without too much worry.

BN - DEF - Tampa Bay - Going with the strategy of having two kickers and two defenses, Jerry won't have much worry in terms of bye weeks this year.

Draft Grade - **

Kristy's Gamers

QB - Matthew Stafford - A potential top-5 fantasy QB.  He has his issues in real life, but much like Tony Romo, Stafford always put up huge fantasy numbers regardless.

WR - Victor Cruz - Kristy needs Victor Cruz to salsa dance all over the NFL like he did two years ago or else she will be back to the bottom half of the standings.

WR - Roddy White - When healthy, Roddy White has WR1 value.  When not healthy, he kills a fantasy team.

WR - Tavon Austin - Apparently he didn't understand any of St. Louis' offense last season in his rookie year.  Still a solid dynasty keeper, Tavon will have to show some improvement to warrant a WR3 spot.

RB - Arian Foster - Foster really fell in our league.  He was not kept by Reaper, then Maggie and Frank both passed on him when they chose their three keepers.  Kristy, with the first-overall pick, bit the bullet.  If healthy, he's an elite fantasy player.

RB - Pierre Thomas - RB2 is a bit steep for his value, but Thomas is the yards-eater with the Saints and is a pretty solid option.

TE - Martellus Bennett - He's suspended currently for throwing down his teammate in practice, but a solid fantasy option.  He's the epitome of an average TE.

W/R/T - Emmanuel Sanders - Could very well be Kristy's actual WR3 before long in Denver's potent offense.

W/R/T - DeAngelo Williams - With Jonathan Stewart forever on the injury report, Williams should garner 7-10 fantasy points week after week in Kristy's flex spot.

BN - WR - Aaron Dobson - The Patriots fan could not contain herself and jumped on Dobson's sleeper value here.  I don't see it paying off.

BN - WR - Andrew Hawkins - Here is a sleeper I can get behind.  The Browns don't have a good WR group and even though Hawkins isn't that good overall, someone will have to catch passes with the Browns.

BN - RB - Dexter McCluster - He has the potential to be a poor man's Danny Woodhead.  Good bench pick for our league.

BN - WR - Jermaine Kearse - He's slowly becoming a viable WR in Seattle and could emerge as Russell Wilson's primary deep threat.

BN - QB - Josh McCown - When you have Matthew Stafford, you don't really need to care about who your back-up is.  I would imagine once Stafford's bye week passes, McCown will be on the waiver-wire.

BN - RB - Lorenzo Taliaferro - Might as well draft him with the mess that is Baltimore's running back situation.  He'll be waiver-wire fodder soon enough.

K - Shayne Graham - Far from a sure thing at kicker, if he can lock down the kicking spot with the Saints, he can be pretty decent.

DEF - New England - They're good for touchdowns, but they give up a lot of points.

Draft Grade - **1/2

Let Me See Dat Bush!

QB - Cam Newton - The prototypical dynasty QB.  He was on last year's championship team and should continue to be an elite fantasy QB despite the lack of reliable WR in Carolina.

WR - Keenan Allen - Probably not an actual WR1, Keenan Allen emerged as a spectacular wide-out in San Diego.  He was almost kept by the defending champs and found himself quickly scooped up in the expansion draft.

WR - DeSean Jackson - The PPR format won't mean much to this deep threat, D-Jax's value comes from the deep bomb touchdowns he pulls in.

WR - Eric Decker - A criminally underrated WR who didn't get nearly enough credit last year in Denver.  He won't come close to the production he put up in Denver, but is still a high-end WR3.

RB - Giovani Bernard - The best PPR dynasty player in the NFL fell into the lap of Maggie by way of the expansion draft.  He has real RB1 potential.

RB - Reggie Bush - Joique Bell's foot steps are troubling for Bush, but he is still a PPR force and will be a more-than-solid RB2.

TE - Dennis Pitta - Injuries derailed his season last year, but back and healthy, Pitta has a real shot to establish himself as TE1.

W/R/T - Danny Woodhead - The perfect PPR flex player, Woodhead snatches up short-yardage catches from Philip Rivers and eats up yards.

W/R/T - Jordan Matthews - A sexy low-risk-high-reward pick.  He'd look better as a bench player, but will likely see starting time in Philadelphia right away as a rookie WR.

BN - QB - Philip Rivers - Rivers and Cam Newton make up the best QB duo in our league and after Newton's bye week, Rivers could be a valuable trade piece.

BN - WR - Marqise Lee - A definite dynasty sleeper, Lee has a real shot to lead Jacksonville in targets this year as a rookie.

BN - WR - Miles Austin - If he is healthy, Miles Austin could emerge as the legitimate number-one WR in Cleveland.

BN - RB - Ahmad Bradshaw - Somebody had to draft him with Trent Richardson's short leash.  If Maggie is shrewd, she'll attempt to trade him to Frank's team, where he will have the most value.

BN - RB - Chris Polk - Likely a year or two away from being a real fantasy threat, Polk is the final man on Maggie's roster.

K - Matt Prater - A kicker with a booming leg, he is one of the better options for his position.

BN - K - Connor Barth - He is coming off a wasted season due to injury, when healthy, he is one of the more consistent kickers in the NFL.

DEF - San Francisco - The best fantasy defense outside of Seattle.

Draft Grade - ****

Reaper's Funhouse

QB - Peyton Manning - He's a mega-stud and has a few more seasons left in him.

WR - Pierre Garcon - Wound up being a surprising keeper, he will likely emerge as a PPR God-send with high-end WR2 value.

WR - Michael Crabtree - The number-one guy in San Franciso, Crabtree is another high-end WR2 on Reaper's team.

WR - Sammy Watkins - Rookie WR always have issues in the NFL and Watkins will have a huge hurdle to leap over to reach his potential early.  A great dynasty pick, but Watkins' value is more at the flex level this year.

RB - Marshawn Lynch - A tumultuous off-season has caused a number of headaches for Reaper, but the season is on the horizon and the days of Beast Mode fantasy orgasms will be upon us.

RB - DeMarco Murray - Every year Reaper has the best RB duo and this year is no different.  Murray has legit RB1 value.

TE - Jason Witten - A PPR stud, Jason Witten still has a year or two left as a good TE1.

W/R/T - Steven Jackson - At least he's someone's flex, S-Jax is an injury or few bad games away from a rookie taking his job.

W/R/T - Brian Hartline - Great flex play in a PPR league.  This rule change was made for someone like Brian Hartline.

BN - WR - Denarius Moore - Barely worth a roster spot.

BN - TE - Tim Wright - Sneaky good sleeper here as he could potentially line up as slot receiver for Tampa this year.  Good PPR value.

BN - QB - Derek Carr - Right up there with Teddy Bridgewater and Johnny Manziel in terms of rookie QB who could have the most fantasy value this year.  Could be the heir apparent to Reaper's Peyton Manning.

BN - RB - Chris Ivory - Ew.

BN - WR - Harry Douglas - He has decent PPR value and sky-rockets should Julio Jones or Roddy White get hurt again.

K - Adam Vinatieri - Prehistorically old but still a solid fantasy kicker.

BN - K - Dan Carpenter - As always, Reaper takes his back-up kicker.

DEF - Cincinnati - No need to fret about defense every week with the Bengals defense.

Draft Grade - ***

Simply Beastly

QB - Drew Brees - An easy keeper pick, Brees is still an elite fantasy QB and will be for several more years.

WR - Julio Jones - Massive injury issues here, but if he's healthy again, he is an elite WR1.

WR - T.Y. Hilton - Inconsistencies have plagued him so far in his career, but this could finally be the breakout year for Indy's top WR.

WR - Marques Colston - He's the Saints' version of Hakeem Nicks.

RB - Jamaal Charles - Disgustingly good and in PPR, he will be nothing short of dominant.

RB - Rashad Jennings - Won't get too many touchdowns with Andre Williams around, but Jennings will rush for 1,000 yards this year.

TE - Coby Fleener - Don't like this at all with Dwayne Allen healthy.

W/R/T - Riley Cooper - He better hope Jordan Matthews is a year away or else Riley Cooper will be a dicey fantasy play, even at flex.

W/R/T - Kelvin Benjamin - The ideal dynasty pick, Benjamin is my choice for Offensive Rookie of the Year and has real WR2 value this year.

BN - QB - Andy Dalton - Another year of Brees/Dalton for Jeggerd this year.  Great insurance just in case Brees ever goes down.

BN - RB - LeGarrette Blount - Le'Veon Bell has had some injury issues so Blount is a must-own in all leagues.  He has little value, however, if Bell is healthy.

BN - TE - Jared Cook - Probably a better TE than Fleener, though that isn't saying much.

BN - WR - Steve Smith Sr. - He has a season left in him, I think, but he's nothing more than a flex2.

BN - WR - Donte Moncrief - Great dynasty pick and with Andrew Luck's talent and the Colts' lack of a running game, there should be plenty of passes to be caught here.

K - Phil Dawson - As solid as you can get at kicker.  He won't put up gaudy numbers, but he'll get the job done.

DEF - Seattle - Jeggerd reached high for this fantasy defense juggernaut.  Their draft position won't be remembered when they're the top fantasy defense once again this year.

BN - DEF - Indianapolis - Awful, unless they have a favorable match-up during Seattle's bye, then they aren't worth it for Jeggerd.

Draft Grade - ***1/2

Final Rankings:

1 - Let Me See Dat Bush!

2 - Simply Beastly

3 - The Studly Studs

4 - #getrekt

5 - BLOWN THE FUCK OUT

6 - Reaper's Funhouse

7 - Fat Jesus' Disciples

8 - #1 Soccer Team

9 - Fuck Yeah Seaking!

10 - Eeveelution

11 - Kristy's Gamers

12 - Romosexual Tendency

13 - Claire It Out

14 - I Love Claire.

Championship Winner:

The Studly Studs

...prove me wrong!

As always, this is all just my opinion.  I hyped up Claire and Kristy last year and they struggled and I tanked on Jeggerd and he nearly won a championship.  I just enjoy doing these write-ups as it is a lot of fun for me.  I'm looking forward to another spectacular fantasy season with you all!